Being honest & transparent

I often ask myself: ‘How can I be more honest with myself and others?’ And the answer to that question is pretty simple: ‘By being my true self.’

But, what does it really mean to be our true, authentic self?

You see, the early years of our lives we get conditioned certain way. We are born into certain families, with certain beliefs, and most of the time, we accept these beliefs without questioning. These beliefs then become deeply planted into our subconscious and often become part of our identity. This gives us some sense of SELF. But, is this our true self or a false self? This is another one of the many deep questions.

As children, teenagers and in adolescence, we may copy others, thinking that what they do is cool. We want to feel liked and accepted. We want to fit in and get a sense of belonging. We think this may give us some recognition, so we mimic their behaviour, which they’ve probably picked up from someone else too.

As we go about life, we pick up more beliefs from the people in our circles. At that point, many beliefs are already deeply imprinted in our subconscious and we treat them as our own. We don’t look at them as beliefs, but rather as facts about ourselves. But again, is this our real truth?

And I’m sorry, if this doesn’t apply to you. Maybe you see life differently. We all have a different perception of the world. The perception of the world I have, may be something completely different from yours, even though both of us may be standing next to each other looking at the same thing. I share these thoughts based on my own experiences and my perception. I do this with a hope, that people who feel different, or perhaps alienated from the masses, can find some relief and a comfort in these messages.

Some of the beliefs we have may be serving us well. They may be inspiring to us and can help us find and explore our natural talents, what we are truly about. Others, may be harmful to us. They may keep us small, limited and scared in the years to come, if not for a lifetime. This is the way programming works. Programs are just repeated patterns, behaviours and rhetorical terms, which we’ve accepted, to give us some sense of ‘who we are’ or who we should be in the eyes of others.

We rarely question our social conditioning. But just because you’ve heard something over and over again, doesn’t mean it’s true. Just because someone has told you something about you, so many times and you have accepted, doesn’t mean this is who you truly are. What if that person was wrong? You may argue and say, that several people said the same thing. Well, maybe. Here is my answer to that: I feel that when we strongly believe something, we begin to see the evidence of it around us. We subconsciously ‘look’ for confirmations of these beliefs. And we will be presented with situations and individuals who will be pointing these insecurities and beliefs back to us, like a reflection in the mirror. And again, you may have a different outlook on this than me. That’s okay. It’s my perception.

How to be more honest and transparent…

Question your beliefs. If these beliefs are serving you well, keep them. If they are unhelpful to you, begin the process of letting go of them. If something gives you a conflicting feeling, a sense that something isn’t right, listen to that feeling, even if the majority of the people are following the crowd. If it doesn’t feel right to you, it probably isn’t. Don’t follow the masses just because everyone else does. They can mislead you. Listen to your feelings. Listen to your intuition. What are you naturally drawn to? Explore it. That’s how you start finding your true self. That’s how you come to your own personal realisations. And this way, you can be also more true to others.

I’m not saying we will ever fully let go of the imprints within us, and nor am I saying all the beliefs we’ve adopted from our families, teachers or our circles are necessarily bad. All I’m saying is to question the ones that don’t make us feel good or are limiting us in some way. What I’m saying is to keep only what feels good to us and let go of what doesn’t.

Keep learning, keep exploring, keep questioning everything, keep growing, keep expanding. And by doing so, you can start coming to the realisations what you are truly about.

Embrace your real truth.

2 Responses to “Being honest & transparent”

  • Dear Jana
    And there is certainly no limitation of age or gender in helping or limiting beliefs. I’m 64 and recently discovered another limiting belief. I’m working on it. Thank you for this blogpost.
    Karina

    Reply
    • Hi Karina,
      I fully agree. We are always learning and discovering something new about ourselves, our whole life. Something new always comes up to the surface, to be learned, worked on and so on. Life is quite a journey 🙂
      And you are very welcome. Thank you for reading.
      Have a lovely day!
      Jana x

      Reply

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