Is it time to upgrade your relationships?

I believe everyone comes to our life for a reason. But, not all of these people will stay in our life for a lifetime. Some of them may only come for a season, perhaps for a few years, a decade maybe, and others may only be passing by. And, that’s all okay. We are all learning, growing, changing, shifting our perspective, and it is perfectly fine for every single person on this planet to choose who they want to surround themselves by in this particular time in life.

So, I have a few questions for you: Have you ever had a feeling you need to do a little clear-out in your circles or maybe to upgrade your relationships? Are you keeping in touch with certain people, just to be nice, or because they have always been there, but the truth is, you have nothing in common anymore? Do you dread picking up the phone when you see a particular name on your telephone screen? Are there any people in your life who have been holding you back for years or are just too negative and dragging you down? Are there people in your life, who don’t really care about you (you just know this), don’t answer your text messages, ignore your emails and only contact you when they need something?’ 

Well, my friend, it may be time to let go.

This may sound a bit harsh, but some people are not meant to share this journey with you, or to put more precisely, be part of the journey you are on right now. We often know when the friendship or a relationship has served its purpose, but the hard part is to let go. I know you care about other people’s feelings and worry how they would they react, because you are a genuine and a nice person. But, you always have to put yourself first, and if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. On the other hand, if you truly care about the relationship and want to save it, the wiser choice would be to sit down and talk it through with the other person.

But sometimes, it really is a time to let go. When you finally let go, you’ll feel lots of weight coming off your shoulders. You’ll feel you can see more clearly and breathe more easily. This way, you will also make space for some new people to come into your life; the people who are meant to be part of your journey.

It is perfectly okay not to hang around with people you used to go to school or college with, or some former work colleagues you have nothing in common anymore. You have all grown on many different levels, may want different things now and just simply not much to say to each other anymore. Letting go can be a steady process, but it doesn’t have to be a painful process filled with anger and resentment. It can be a process filled with love, grace and compassion. And how this is done is all up to you.

I’m mentioning this topic today not to make anyone feel bad, but because not many people are talking about it. We are living in this, sometimes fake and dishonest, reality we created ourselves, and this reality is pressuring everyone to accept and believe the fact that it’s okay to live this way when it clearly isn’t.

Enough of fake relationships, enough of dishonesty, enough of pretending. 

Try this:

If you feel it’s time to let go, sit quietly and take a few deep breaths to get centred. Then, ask yourself (your inner wisdom): ‘How can I let go of this person gracefully and without hurting them?’ The answer may come to you immediately or later. Be open and listen. And by listening, I mean being open to any intuitive message you receive, any signs and synchronicities. Then, every time you think of this person during the day, try to send them loving thoughts and see them as a fellow soul that came to this earth to learn, to grow, to experience whatever it needs to experience. They are also scared, unsure and uncertain of many things, just like you. Be compassionate towards them and let them go steadily and gracefully. Forgive them and wish them well on the next part of their journey. This relationships has served its purpose and it’s okay to let go, without any hard feelings.

What is this teaching us?

For many, the start of the year hasn’t been so easy. So many sad things have been happening in the world. We’ve lost some beautiful people, there have been disasters, tragedies and more. Even in my own life, I’ve received some unexpected sad news and have been through challenges, which I’m going to keep private for now.

I wish we could just rewind these last few weeks and start all over again, and perhaps make a better start.
But, looking at all these examples, I also believe, it’s important to ask ourselves: ‘What can we learn from these sad and challenging experiences…and, actually…is there anything to learn from them?’ 
Well, all of them are definitely teaching us something….
They are perhaps teaching us to be stronger, more resilient and to finally start living our lives fully, instead of only existing. They may be teaching us to be more grateful, loving and compassionate towards others, and of course, towards ourselves too. Perhaps, they are teaching us to start enjoying our lives a bit more and stop investing our precious energy to things that don’t really matter. They are maybe trying to tell us, to be more ourselves and stop trying too hard to play the pretentious game of being somebody we are not to impress those who don’t really care anyway. They are maybe teaching us to be more forthcoming, more honest and tell our loved ones, as often as we possibly can, how much we love them and appreciate them before it’s too late. Or maybe, they are just telling us to be less fearful and more courageous, to finally step out of our comfort zone and start doing what we truly desire.
So, if this year began with some challenges for you, please keep the faith that things will get better. Trust and know in your heart, that after every storm the clouds will disappear and the sun will shine again.

Let’s be brave & let’s keep going

My little niece is almost three. After the Holidays, she started going to nursery. The first day at the nursery went great. She had a lovely time with her teacher and playing with the other kids in her classroom. Although the first day went beyond our expectations, the following day, in the morning, she felt a little uneasy to go back. She had tears in her eyes and was resisting it. Then, as soon as she’s noticed her teacher and the other kids in the classroom, she said to my sister: ‘Mum, wipe my tears, I’m going in.’ What a brave, little girl. When my sister told me this story, I was so proud of her and it made me emotional too. That’s the right attitude’… I thought to myself. It has also inspired today’s blog post, where I want to talk to you about bravery.

Are you afraid to step out of your comfort zone? Is there something you want to be doing, but you are just too scared to take the first step? Do you have any limiting beliefs which have been holding you back? Well, you are not alone. We all have our own fears, we hesitate, we second-guess whether we are able to do something or not.

Some of you who follow my Mystic Butterfly posts for a while might have heard this story from my pilot training. When I was learning to fly I was excited about flying, but I was also scared. Especially when it came to the first, few solo flights. My heart would be raising, my palms would sweat and I would feel very uneasy every time I was about to take the aeroplane up to the skies on my own.

Well, ever since I can remember I have been quite a fearful person. At school I was afraid to raise my hand and speak up when I had to, I used to be quite apprehensive to make a complaint at the department store, which I had every rights to make or to stand up for myself when somebody made fun of me. I’m naturally a quiet and introverted person, and to navigate, with my nature, in the world that is definitely built for the outgoing and extroverted people has always been a challenge.

After a while, realising I need to toughen up, I learnt to be stronger and gained some confidence which served me well, even though I’m still an introvert and I always will be. I’ve realised, that if I want to do something, I have to go out there, face my fears and get it. I learnt how to step out of my comfort zone sometimes, even though I was scared. So, despite my fear, I would get out there and do what I was afraid to do. I realised, it is better to ride with a fear than living with a wondering, what if I did that. I also used this strategy while learning to fly and it brought so many rewards into my life, not only my pilot’s license. I learned so much about myself, about my life and what I’m capable of doing when I set my mind to it.

Is there any area in your life where you could you be more brave, more forthcoming, more outspoken, to be more your authentic self? Take a deep breath and despite all the fears and any crazy scenarios and lies your mind comes up with, take a first step. Even the smallest steps can slowly add up to great results. Say a big YES to new things. Do at least one thing that scares you every week, even every day. Be your own encourager and never ever give up.

One dream at the time

This week’s post is a follow-up to the last week’s one. I’m sure you have many dreams you would like to accomplish this year. Do some of them seem crazy to others? If so, good. We should all be dreaming as big as we possibly can, and at the same time protect these dreams. You should never give a permission to anyone to make fun of them. If they think your dreams are too big or impossible, they are basically saying they are out of their reach, but this doesn’t have to be true for you. Believe in yourself, believe in your dreams and protect them from ridicule.

So, you have dreams, some bigger, some smaller, but there are all yours and all very important. Now, it’s time to start bringing them into reality. When it comes to fulfilling your dreams, I find that focusing on one dream at the time, often gives you the best results. This process is not messy and on top of that, you’ll have clarity in your mind and a peace in your soul.

Many of us want to do so many things and we often want them all at the same time. There is nothing wrong with that, but when it comes to our dreams, we also need to be strategic.

I learned this the hard way, because ever since I can remember I always dreamed big and the list of my dreams has always been long. In the past, I would try to do so many things at the same time and often didn’t know what to focus on first. Back then, the whole process looked extremely messy and on top of that, I felt very uneasy, burnt out and I wasn’t heading anywhere. Learning to prioritise and work towards one dream at the time, however, made a huge difference in my life and I finally started seeing the results I was hoping for.

Here is what I did and can help you too:

I took a piece of paper and wrote down all the things I’d like to accomplish in a year time. Then, I narrowed it down to what I’d like to accomplish in the first six months of that year. From there, I chose one thing which is most important to me right now, and I’m going to commit to. This way I gained clarity.

Once I have the dream I’m going to focus on, I make sure I take at least couple of steps towards it every single day. The steps don’t have to be too big, but I do make sure I do something daily (it can be as small as reading a couple of pages of the book of the subject you want to master e.g.). If things get difficult, I remind myself why I have chosen this dream in the first place. I visualise how I’m going to feel once it’s accomplished, I take a deep breath and carry on.

Of course, sometimes we feel tired, demotivated, even exhausted or get sick. It’s good to take some time out too and re-focus our attention to something else for a little while. It is also equally important to look after ourselves every single day, eat healthy food, exercise our bodies and be generally good to ourselves. Find a balance that works for you.

I hope my little strategy will inspire you. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest out. I know your dreams are important to you and you can absolutely bring them into a reality. Keep going, never give up and most importantly, believe in yourself.

Happy New Decade!

We have a brand new year, a brand new decade ahead of us, filled with many opportunities and adventures. Everything is fresh, everything is new. Are you excited?

This is the time when many people start setting intentions to finally do what they always wanted to do, or to things differently than they’ve done them previously. The truth is, we don’t need a new year or a new decade to start fresh. We can decide in any given moment to begin whatever we want to begin. But, because it is a new year, I hope you don’t mind me say a few words about setting intentions, with a hope that it will inspire you.

For me, this new year, is all about following my dreams and letting go limiting beliefs that have previously held me back. I used to have the ‘achieve and succeed’ kind of mindset, and that helped me to accomplish so many amazing things in life. But, in the last year or so, I’ve also started focusing more on enjoying the process of fulfilling my desires, and it is much more fun. After all, life is a journey.

At the same time, I don’t want to be procrastinating and waiting for a better time to begin what is important to me. I’ve decided to claim, that I am worthy of my dreams, even the ones which seem completely crazy to others. If something matters to me, I’m going to do my absolute best to make it happen. I’m not going to let the past, limiting beliefs hold me back anymore from fulfilling my true potential.

And one of the desires which is extremely important to me, is to be of great service to the world. I want to continue to inspire you, motivate you and support you in bringing your own dreams into reality, and to help you live a happier and more fulfilling lives. Of course, to do this, I always need to support myself first. I need to protect my own energy, so I can feel grounded, fulfilled and inspired, and then I can be of help to others.

The reason I’m sharing this with you is to help you step into your own power fully, and realise that you are worthy and more than capable of so many amazing things in life. You deserve it all and more. So, stop getting distracted by the noise of the world, stop being discouraged, demotivated and influenced by other people’s opinions and focus on what matters to you. Focus on it fully. Commit to upgrading your life (whatever this means to you) and start creating the one you want to experience. And most importantly, look after yourself and do it the best way you possibly can. When you are well and happy, than you can also help other people.

To assist you in this process, I’ve created a brand new meditation (some of you may have listened to it already), called the ‘New You Meditation’. This meditation is designed to help you stay on the right track, when you are starting to make a new choices in life. Listen to it as often as possible. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed creating it.

You can access it here:

My hope and my intention for you is to have a fantastic year. Stay positive, stay motivated, look after yourself and keep your focus on the things that are important to you. And, if I can assist you in any way in this process, please do let me know. You can book your Free Introductory Coaching Session with me here:

With love and best wishes,

Jana x

What are you plans for the upcoming decade?

In a couple of weeks we’ll be entering a new decade. This is an opportunity to set a new goals, to finally start fulfilling our desires, to perhaps do things differently then we’ve done them previously and to be who we want to be and who we really are. It definitely is an exciting time and I think we should start thinking what we want to begin creating, changing and aspiring for right now.

Doing a review of my last decade, I can honestly say, it was a time of so much personal and spiritual growth for me. I had many highs and lows, successes and failures, victories but also disappointments. It was a decade of gains and losses, and many personal realisations. Many people I loved and respected were lead away from me, but others who were supposed to share this journey with me were drawn to me. Many exciting opportunities came to me, but things also didn’t always go according to my plans. There has been so much clearing, healing and reconnecting with my true self. It was a decade of learning and growing on many deep levels. I’m so grateful for all these experiences.

It also made me realise, that now is the time to invest my precious energy to what really matters to me and stop wasting my time on things that are no longer worthy of worrying about. Investing my energy to people that are dearest to my heart, to fully focus on any unfinished projects, to stop postponing, procrastinating and to finally bring my life-long dreams into reality. I am fully committed to all of the above and more.

And you? What are your plans for the upcoming decade? What would you like to do or change? Don’t wait and start now.

Your mistakes don’t define you

We all make mistakes. Some of us may have done things we may not be proud of, and if we could, we would’ve definitely deal with them differently. Others, might have hurt someone and every time they think about it, they are almost re-living the experience and can often be left feeling bad, exhausted and guilty.

Then, there are different kinds of mistakes. The mistakes that we might have made repeatedly, such as trusting someone we knew were not good for us or just making a simple error unintentionally overspending on a motorway. Making mistakes is perfectly natural.

I’ve made so many mistakes in life. I said things to others I’m not particularly proud of, I trusted people repeatedly, even though the signs were screaming out loud at me, that these people were not good for me. I’ve failed exams and disappointed people.

Despite all of the above, I’ve made peace with my past now. I’ve forgiven myself for my past mistakes. I now think about my past mistakes as lessons, because that’s what they truly are. Worrying about the past and its mistakes is not going to make me feel any better, because there is nothing I can change about them. However, there is one thing that can be changed. It is my approach towards the past and my mistakes. Worrying about making mistakes in the future doesn’t help us either. Keep learning, keep growing and don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

When we worry about something all the time and think about it over and over again, we are only unintentionally brining it into our future experience. Then, we are wondering why we are creating similar situations and attracting similar people into our lives. It is the repeating pattern that is manifesting these similar experiences.

So from now on, make a decision. Make a decision, to take a step back and start looking at your mistakes’ as lessons. Lessons, which are teaching you a lot, and are definitely helping you on your personal and spiritual growth. Your mistakes don’t define you, they only teach you what you need to learn in any given moment.

Slow down, my friend

This week, I’d like to share with you my thoughts on the importance of slowing down. We live in a busy world and we often move from one thing to another as quickly as we possibly can. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s great to get things done and check them off our lists. It makes us feel better and in control. However, doing things too quickly can also create a messy results, keep us drained of energy and out of breath.

I believe by slowing down we can actually stay in control and even gain more time. We can see things more clearly and stand in our power more. For example: speaking a little slower than we are used to can bring some incredible changes into our lives.

I used to have an issue in this area. I spoke way too quickly, just to get the words out of mouth ASAP. I didn’t want to be seen or heard. I wanted to always stay in the background and to keep a low profile. I was scared to ask questions, and when I had no other choice but speak, my throat would get dry, my voice would get squeaky and my palms would sweat.

Because I also felt unimportant, and thought what I had to say didn’t matter and people wouldn’t let me finish, also contributed to talking fast to get my point across very quickly and then go and hide again from the reality.

These days I sometimes still dread speaking up, but now I’ve learned to become much calmer. I do take my time, I breathe slowly and deeply and I mostly talk in confidence. I don’t get too worried what other people think of me now and this brought so much peace into my life. Speaking slowly also helped me slow down doing other things too. Now, I feel more in control. I can also do things quickly, but at the same time calmly. I feel empowered.

And how about you? Is there any area in your life where you could invite more calmness by slowing down?

Always learning

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I attended a TEDx conference in Oxford. It was incredible. Being surrounded by so many like-minded people was life-transforming and brought so much positivity into our lives.

I love everything related to personal growth and development, so watching many interesting speakers talk about various topics, made me inspired and believe in myself and in my mission even more. I really enjoyed the business-like sessions, which made me realise some important points I’ve been missing for years.

It has also inspired me to write about this particular topic today:

I don’t believe in giving up, but after putting so much work and effort into something you care about and people often dismissing it, can be a disappointing and a tiring process. Years and years of hard work and more disappointments rather than seeing some great results can be upsetting.

Luckily, I don’t feel like this often, but when I do, I know I need to take a step back. These occasional setbacks often teach me some valuable lessons, but most importantly, to persevere and believe in my vision even more.

Having big dreams can challenge you in many ways. However, I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’m loving the learning process, the challenges and the blessings that are unfolding right in front of me as a result of taking risks and not giving up.

At TEDx, watching one particular speaker gave me an epiphany. It made me realise something that I’ve been missing for years. I believe that everything happens for a reason and that I was lead to this talk and to this particular speaker who’s profound message open new doors for me. I’m extremely grateful for it.

So, are you a business owner, an artist, creative or someone with a big vision? If so, here is a message for you: ‘Believe in yourself, keep going and persevere. The obstacles you face may delay you, but don’t have to stop you. Face your challenges, learn the lessons, because they are teaching you something important, something that was required and can help you in the future. And most importantly, never give up!’

Does not keeping in touch with your friends make you a bad person?

Someone recently asked me: ‘Does not keeping in touch with my friends so often make me a bad person?’ My response to that was: ‘Absolutely not.’ I had a few things to say about it, because lately, I haven’t been socialising much at all. I’ve been introverting, living in my own world, keeping it to myself. I’ve seen a  couple of friends in the last few months, who live nearby, but that’s about it. Not socialising much or seeing my dear friends doesn’t mean I don’t care about them. Of course I do. I love my friends so much. But these days I’m going through a phase in life when I really value being at home, looking after myself and protecting my energy from crowded places which drain me of energy.

I remember years ago, when I was younger, I was trying to keep in touch with everyone all the time. I value other people and their precious time, so I would go out of my way to do so. Whenever I’d found any spare hour, even though I’d be tired, I’d go out of my way and never disappoint. I was doing myself a lot of disservice and at our gatherings my energy would be scattered and I wouldn’t be fully present and myself.

At the time, I held onto an old belief that I have to always go the extra mile to see people, so they would like me and appreciate me. This old belief came from my childhood and teenage years, when I would be happy that someone actually spend time with me. At the time I felt unworthy and insignificant. When I made some friends I wanted to keep them, even though some of them were not good for me. I valued their time and their company, so I would do anything for them. This old belief brought an unhealthy pattern into my life and made me believe that I need to be always available to others.

Later, exhausted and drained of energy, I realised what I was actually doing to myself. I became angry with myself and built barriers around me that made me detached from the reality as much as possible. It got quite bad that all I wanted was to be on my own. The thought of being around people was making me feel very uncomfortable. However, after a while I realised, this didn’t feel good at all. I was craving for the company of others, but this time I had to approach it differently and I never looked back.

These days, I only have a few good friends. Many of them I don’t see very often, but I know they love me and accept me for who I am. They understand that I am an introvert and I get easily exhausted when I’m in public places for too long. They understand that I don’t always want to socialise and they don’t resent me for it. They know that even though we don’t see each other very often I love them anyway and I’m often available to have a chat on the phone or through text messages. When we do meet in person, however, I can give them my full attention they deserve.
So, if you think that not meeting up with others, as often as you think you should, make you a bad person, put it out of your mind. The right people, who love you and appreciate you, and who are meant to stay in your life, will always do and understand that you are just different, perhaps an introvert like me, and will not resent you for it.
And, to all my dear friends, whom I haven’t seen for a while. You know I deeply love you and care about you, even though I’m mostly introverting these days.