What are you plans for the upcoming decade?

In a couple of weeks we’ll be entering a new decade. This is an opportunity to set a new goals, to finally start fulfilling our desires, to perhaps do things differently then we’ve done them previously and to be who we want to be and who we really are. It definitely is an exciting time and I think we should start thinking what we want to begin creating, changing and aspiring for right now.

Doing a review of my last decade, I can honestly say, it was a time of so much personal and spiritual growth for me. I had many highs and lows, successes and failures, victories but also disappointments. It was a decade of gains and losses, and many personal realisations. Many people I loved and respected were lead away from me, but others who were supposed to share this journey with me were drawn to me. Many exciting opportunities came to me, but things also didn’t always go according to my plans. There has been so much clearing, healing and reconnecting with my true self. It was a decade of learning and growing on many deep levels. I’m so grateful for all these experiences.

It also made me realise, that now is the time to invest my precious energy to what really matters to me and stop wasting my time on things that are no longer worthy of worrying about. Investing my energy to people that are dearest to my heart, to fully focus on any unfinished projects, to stop postponing, procrastinating and to finally bring my life-long dreams into reality. I am fully committed to all of the above and more.

And you? What are your plans for the upcoming decade? What would you like to do or change? Don’t wait and start now.

Your mistakes don’t define you

We all make mistakes. Some of us may have done things we may not be proud of, and if we could, we would’ve definitely deal with them differently. Others, might have hurt someone and every time they think about it, they are almost re-living the experience and can often be left feeling bad, exhausted and guilty.

Then, there are different kinds of mistakes. The mistakes that we might have made repeatedly, such as trusting someone we knew were not good for us or just making a simple error unintentionally overspending on a motorway. Making mistakes is perfectly natural.

I’ve made so many mistakes in life. I said things to others I’m not particularly proud of, I trusted people repeatedly, even though the signs were screaming out loud at me, that these people were not good for me. I’ve failed exams and disappointed people.

Despite all of the above, I’ve made peace with my past now. I’ve forgiven myself for my past mistakes. I now think about my past mistakes as lessons, because that’s what they truly are. Worrying about the past and its mistakes is not going to make me feel any better, because there is nothing I can change about them. However, there is one thing that can be changed. It is my approach towards the past and my mistakes. Worrying about making mistakes in the future doesn’t help us either. Keep learning, keep growing and don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

When we worry about something all the time and think about it over and over again, we are only unintentionally brining it into our future experience. Then, we are wondering why we are creating similar situations and attracting similar people into our lives. It is the repeating pattern that is manifesting these similar experiences.

So from now on, make a decision. Make a decision, to take a step back and start looking at your mistakes’ as lessons. Lessons, which are teaching you a lot, and are definitely helping you on your personal and spiritual growth. Your mistakes don’t define you, they only teach you what you need to learn in any given moment.

Slow down, my friend

This week, I’d like to share with you my thoughts on the importance of slowing down. We live in a busy world and we often move from one thing to another as quickly as we possibly can. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s great to get things done and check them off our lists. It makes us feel better and in control. However, doing things too quickly can also create a messy results, keep us drained of energy and out of breath.

I believe by slowing down we can actually stay in control and even gain more time. We can see things more clearly and stand in our power more. For example: speaking a little slower than we are used to can bring some incredible changes into our lives.

I used to have an issue in this area. I spoke way too quickly, just to get the words out of mouth ASAP. I didn’t want to be seen or heard. I wanted to always stay in the background and to keep a low profile. I was scared to ask questions, and when I had no other choice but speak, my throat would get dry, my voice would get squeaky and my palms would sweat.

Because I also felt unimportant, and thought what I had to say didn’t matter and people wouldn’t let me finish, also contributed to talking fast to get my point across very quickly and then go and hide again from the reality.

These days I sometimes still dread speaking up, but now I’ve learned to become much calmer. I do take my time, I breathe slowly and deeply and I mostly talk in confidence. I don’t get too worried what other people think of me now and this brought so much peace into my life. Speaking slowly also helped me slow down doing other things too. Now, I feel more in control. I can also do things quickly, but at the same time calmly. I feel empowered.

And how about you? Is there any area in your life where you could invite more calmness by slowing down?

Always learning

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I attended a TEDx conference in Oxford. It was incredible. Being surrounded by so many like-minded people was life-transforming and brought so much positivity into our lives.

I love everything related to personal growth and development, so watching many interesting speakers talk about various topics, made me inspired and believe in myself and in my mission even more. I really enjoyed the business-like sessions, which made me realise some important points I’ve been missing for years.

It has also inspired me to write about this particular topic today:

I don’t believe in giving up, but after putting so much work and effort into something you care about and people often dismissing it, can be a disappointing and a tiring process. Years and years of hard work and more disappointments rather than seeing some great results can be upsetting.

Luckily, I don’t feel like this often, but when I do, I know I need to take a step back. These occasional setbacks often teach me some valuable lessons, but most importantly, to persevere and believe in my vision even more.

Having big dreams can challenge you in many ways. However, I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’m loving the learning process, the challenges and the blessings that are unfolding right in front of me as a result of taking risks and not giving up.

At TEDx, watching one particular speaker gave me an epiphany. It made me realise something that I’ve been missing for years. I believe that everything happens for a reason and that I was lead to this talk and to this particular speaker who’s profound message open new doors for me. I’m extremely grateful for it.

So, are you a business owner, an artist, creative or someone with a big vision? If so, here is a message for you: ‘Believe in yourself, keep going and persevere. The obstacles you face may delay you, but don’t have to stop you. Face your challenges, learn the lessons, because they are teaching you something important, something that was required and can help you in the future. And most importantly, never give up!’

Does not keeping in touch with your friends make you a bad person?

Someone recently asked me: ‘Does not keeping in touch with my friends so often make me a bad person?’ My response to that was: ‘Absolutely not.’ I had a few things to say about it, because lately, I haven’t been socialising much at all. I’ve been introverting, living in my own world, keeping it to myself. I’ve seen a  couple of friends in the last few months, who live nearby, but that’s about it. Not socialising much or seeing my dear friends doesn’t mean I don’t care about them. Of course I do. I love my friends so much. But these days I’m going through a phase in life when I really value being at home, looking after myself and protecting my energy from crowded places which drain me of energy.

I remember years ago, when I was younger, I was trying to keep in touch with everyone all the time. I value other people and their precious time, so I would go out of my way to do so. Whenever I’d found any spare hour, even though I’d be tired, I’d go out of my way and never disappoint. I was doing myself a lot of disservice and at our gatherings my energy would be scattered and I wouldn’t be fully present and myself.

At the time, I held onto an old belief that I have to always go the extra mile to see people, so they would like me and appreciate me. This old belief came from my childhood and teenage years, when I would be happy that someone actually spend time with me. At the time I felt unworthy and insignificant. When I made some friends I wanted to keep them, even though some of them were not good for me. I valued their time and their company, so I would do anything for them. This old belief brought an unhealthy pattern into my life and made me believe that I need to be always available to others.

Later, exhausted and drained of energy, I realised what I was actually doing to myself. I became angry with myself and built barriers around me that made me detached from the reality as much as possible. It got quite bad that all I wanted was to be on my own. The thought of being around people was making me feel very uncomfortable. However, after a while I realised, this didn’t feel good at all. I was craving for the company of others, but this time I had to approach it differently and I never looked back.

These days, I only have a few good friends. Many of them I don’t see very often, but I know they love me and accept me for who I am. They understand that I am an introvert and I get easily exhausted when I’m in public places for too long. They understand that I don’t always want to socialise and they don’t resent me for it. They know that even though we don’t see each other very often I love them anyway and I’m often available to have a chat on the phone or through text messages. When we do meet in person, however, I can give them my full attention they deserve.
So, if you think that not meeting up with others, as often as you think you should, make you a bad person, put it out of your mind. The right people, who love you and appreciate you, and who are meant to stay in your life, will always do and understand that you are just different, perhaps an introvert like me, and will not resent you for it.
And, to all my dear friends, whom I haven’t seen for a while. You know I deeply love you and care about you, even though I’m mostly introverting these days.

Bring more light into your life

One of my favourite things to do is composing music. It brings so much happiness to my soul and always shifts my energy to some higher frequencies I haven’t even thought existed. When I create music, I completely forget about time and I get fully absorbed in the moment that I am in. These moments bring me joy, excitement and a peace of mind.

Although I’m not a famous composer and I may never be (most people don’t even know that I compose), I will continue making music because of the enjoyment it brings me.

So, I have a few questions for you:

‘What do you do by choice? What does light you up? What do you enjoy doing so much, that you forget about time? Is is writing, playing sports, cooking or pottering in the garden?’ I believe, we all have something, at least one thing we really love to do.  And if not, I’m sure we’ve just left it aside at some point in life.

Maybe you are one of those people who forgot what your passion really is. Perhaps you’ve been busy raising your family and now that your kids are off to college, you suddenly have more time on your hands and feel a little lost. Or you’ve just been too busy living life, going to work and forgot about your interests all together. You are happy when Friday comes, so you can have a weekend off, and what you normally do is relax in front of the TV or scroll through social media.

Well, if so, it’s time to change things. Close your eyes for a moment and travel back in time. Travel all the way to your childhood. Then, ask yourself: What did I enjoy doing as a child?’ Think about what you liked doing and how it made you feel. What activities did you enjoy? If you remember it, perfect. If not, keep coming back to this exercise, at least once a day, until you find it. And you will. We all have/had that one thing that brings or brought us so much joy.

I have a clear memories of writing and composing music from an early age. I would spend hours and hours putting tunes together on the keyboard or the piano. Then, in my early twenties, when I had my emotional breakdown, I kept my passion for music aside.  Luckily, I found it again, almost a decade later (better later than never) and I never looked back. Creating music makes me feel free, empowered and very joyful. So, how about you? What do you like or you liked doing so much? What creates that special spark in your life when you think about it? It’s time to get back to it my friend.

Let’s be more kind & respectful towards each other

We all have our own beliefs and follow certain traditions which work for us. These beliefs shape the reality we live in. For some time I’ve been following certain spiritual traditions. I’ve always been interested in the mysterious and have been curious about the Universe as whole. I’m extremely grateful that I have been lead to many amazing teachers who supported my growth, by sharing their knowledge and wisdom with me, which also allowed me to tap into my own.

As a result of this, I created a reality that works for me and I’m happy to be living in that reality. There are people who may not believe in what I believe and that’s okay with me. Really, it’s perfectly fine with me 🙂 We are all entitled to believe in what resonates with us. I personally don’t reject anyone’s beliefs and opinions, but what sometimes saddens me is when people attack others based on theirs, without knowing anything about it, saying they are right and you are wrong. This personally affected me during Samhain (Halloween), when some people said hurtful things to me and others, without knowing much about this particular time of the year. Sadly, they haven’t done any research to understand it even a little bit.

We all perceive the world through many different filters. We have been conditioned to believe certain things from an early age, often without choice. We pick up beliefs from the people closest to us, when we are growing up and later through our adulthood, and these beliefs become part of our reality. So, of course if we believe something for so many years we are going to believe it fully, unless we become more open-minded to other perspectives and start choosing for ourselves later in life.

Why am I saying all this? My point is, to be more kind and respectful towards each other when it comes to these beliefs. Let’s stop attacking each others, making unpleasant and completely unnecessary comments about someone else’s beliefs and the traditions they follow. If we don’t like someone or what they believe in, we don’t have to be friends with them in real life or we can always unfollow them on social media. We can always end the friendships in a mature way, without any attack or hard feelings.

So, I believe in many spiritual traditions, angels, spirit guides, ghosts and fairies. I love wearing costumes that symbolise my beliefs or just purely for fun. I’m friends with many amazing, real witches, shamans and healers, who are one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met. These people and guides have done some amazing work for myself, my friends and family. I honour their path and I’m grateful for the incredible work they do in this world.

And, I fully stand behind all of this and feel unapologetic about it.

So, dear friend, on a different path from mine or someone else’s, I respect your beliefs and your opinions. You are entitled to believe what you want to believe and express your opinions. But, if you feel called to express them, please be mindful and do so in a respectful way. People will honour you and appreciate you for it. After all, we are all having a human experience and have more in common then not, despite our differences. We are just on a different paths at this time and space.

Rant over 🙂

Give yourself more credit

Last Tuesday I was busy running errands, straight after a long haul flight I got off the same morning. I had a full day ahead of me and because I was heading to Slovakia the following morning, I needed to get quite a few things done on that day despite my tiredness. To make my day go as smooth as possible, I’ve decided to approach everything with a positive attitude and to talk to myself in positive and a kind way. I’ve made a commitment that I will praise myself for every little thing I checked off my list. Making this decision made a huge difference to my day, to my feelings and the experiences I was getting back as a result.
I was proud of myself. I remembered the days how would Jana deal with similar situations in the past, whether she was tired or jet-lagged or not. She would be stressed out and her controlling attitude would be getting in a way of everything. She would be angry with the road traffic, the people in her way, for queuing at the coffee shop and upset with the crashing internet when she was trying to send a quick email on the go.
Reminding myself of my past self made me realise how far I’ve come and how differently I deal with things now. Then, I praised myself even more.
My energy shifted and I was able to run my errands effortlessly, with a positive attitude, calmness and ease.
And how about you? Do you try to control everything and everyone around you? Do small things stress you out? Do you get easily angry when working under pressure? If so, give yourself more credit. Praise yourself in every opportunity you get. Talk to yourself in a kind way. Be loving and respectful towards yourself. If you have a lot to do and not sure where to begin, pause for a moment, take a deep breath and ask yourself, what is the easiest thing I can cross off my list first? Then do it and carry on with the others. Be gentle with yourself. After all, you are the most important person in your own life and you deserve love and respect that you would give to others.

Have courage, my friend

Recently, one of my private coaching clients (who gave me a permission to use his example in this post) has landed an incredible career opportunity. I’ve been watching his personal growth and development for several months, and his progress has been a joy to be part of. He has worked so hard to get this job and got so excited when the final decision has been made that has got the position. Eager to take his career to the next level, he started planning all that was necessary. But there was one last challenge he had to face: to hand his notice to his present employer. The thought of this made him feel very edgy, uncomfortable and agitated. He has been working for the company for over a decade and a half. Also, the idea of leaving a secure job, starting from scratch again, wasn’t suddenly as appealing as when he received the good news about getting the new job.

Handing a notice is never a pleasant situation to deal with. It often involves hard feelings and discomfort. The day before handing his notice I received a phone call from him. He said that he is feeling very nervous about approaching his current manager and he is not sure if he can do this. I advised him that this is completely normal and I helped him to centre back to the present moment by encouraging him to take a few, deep breaths. Then, we could carry on with our conversation.

I reminded him how much work he has done on himself up to this point and how proud I was of him. When I started coaching him, one of the things he wanted to work on was to take steps towards changing his career. At his current job, he felt demotivated, unappreciated, always going the extra mile, but never feeling valued or acknowledged for his great work and efforts. However, when something went wrong, his manager would call him to the office almost immediately to see what’s going on. (I want to point out here that the latter happened very rarely).

My client was very worried how his manager is going to react to the news about handing his notice. I encouraged him to do what he does best, to be his beautiful self and to stand in his power. I also reminded him to always put himself first, something he has rarely done for himself for all these years in this company. Now is the time to finally embrace everything he had worked so hard for and claim it fully. He began feeling better and said to me, that’s exactly what he is going to do. He got so caught up in the circle of worry how his notice is going be received and completely forgot why he is actually leaving the company in the first place. Sometimes we how to remind ourselves all the reasons why we are doing what we are doing before we take the big step to make a change. The excuses and thoughts such as: It wasn’t that bad after all’, ‘I should maybe give it another year’, ‘I should just stay put and see what happens’ will be entering our minds. This is perfectly normal.

To cut long story short, my client has successfully handed his notice. They were some hard feelings involved and the manager has tried to change his mind and acknowledged him for his hard work in the end, but it was too late. Now he feels that so much weight has been lifted off his shoulders and he is finally ready to start a new venture he worked so hard for and he truly deserves.

The moral of this story is to always put yourself first, to always follow your dreams and to listen to your inner wisdom. When you feel like you need to do something, change something, be somewhere else or let go of something, it’s time to act and explore new venues and think of new options. You can absolutely face any challenge you face if you have the willingness to put in some work and step out of your comfort zone. Have courage, my friend.

Universal signs

A couple of weeks I was on a trip in Montreal. One morning, while there, I visited one of the local coffee shops for breakfast. Something was going on in my life in that particular week and it was keeping my mind pre-occupied, and to be honest, a bit worried. As soon as I walked in, I’ve noticed the energy of the place vibrating on a very high frequency. What do I mean by that? The people working there were singing, smiling, laughing and being generally in a fantastic mood. The music playing in the background reflected the good vibes of the place. It was such a joy to watch these young people worked together as a team. Their beautiful energy was definitely drawing people in.

Almost immediately, I started feeling better and more at peace. When someone smiles at you and asks you, in a very genuine way, how you are, especially in the moments when your mind is elsewhere and worried, you feel that there is love, care and support around you. And that day, I felt exactly that. Watching this energetic group of people working so beautifully and effortlessly together, enjoying their job and making everyone around happy, shifted my perspective on things.

I suddenly felt that everything is going to be okay. I wasn’t as overwhelmed as earlier that morning and I started looking at the situation I was going through differently. I trusted, that I was intuitively lead to visit this particular coffee shop to feel better. For me, it was just another sign from the Universe, the angels and my spiritual guides, that all is well and there is nothing to worry about. The more peace set into my subconscious, the more I was able to notice other signs that grounded to the moment I was in and enabled me to leave my worries aside.

I believe that there is so much guidance around us and this guidance often comes through people, situations, random blessings and also many other seen and unseen forces. It’s just up to us whether we are open to these signs or not. I fully understand that when we have so much going on, it is almost impossible to quiet our minds and truly align to the moment we are in. But it is in the moments of worry, fear or chaos that we need it most. Then, we will open to door to the unlimited help and guidance that is available to us all without question.