An open forgiveness letter to myself & others

Ever since this COVID-19 crisis I’ve been noticing that people are getting easily triggered by each other. I feel that this mostly springs from all the uncertainty floating around, being surrounded by scary news and not knowing what’s around the corner. We are getting easily triggered by people on the internet, but also by people in the shops and in the streets (this is my observation). These triggers may come in a form of anger, resentment, judgement, comparison, misunderstandings….the list can go on.

I too have been getting triggered, more than ever lately. But last week, I had an idea which offered me some relief and helped me to released many unpleasant thoughts. I’ve decided to write an open forgiveness letter to myself and others. Writing this letter helped me feel lighter, it brought some clarity into my life, and it helped me understand, just a little, other people’s perspectives.

I’d like to share this letter with you today, with a hope, that it can perhaps inspire you to write your own. And of course, you don’t have to share your letter with anyone. It is only for you. I’m only sharing mine with you as an example.

Here it is:

An open forgiveness letter to myself and others, 

I forgive myself for not reaching out to my friends, when we all seemed to struggle and tried to navigate through the new normal, but I also forgive you, dear friends, for not reaching out to me when I needed you most. I forgive myself for judging others in my mind, while I was angry at the whole world and felt so lost and scared, but I also forgive others when I had a feeling they were doing the same to me. 

I forgive myself for giving others the impression that I was uncaring and selfish, but I also forgive them for giving that impression to me too. I forgive myself for making assumptions about others in my mind, but I also forgive them for making assumptions in their minds about me. 

I forgive myself for pretending to be strong when I felt unhappy, tired and sad, but I also forgive others for giving that impression to me, which made me compare myself to them and thinking that I’m a failure. I forgive myself for acting out of my unresolved traumas, but I also forgive others for acting out of their unresolved traumas too. 

I forgive myself for not being loving and compassionate towards myself, when I was struggling the most, but I also forgive others for not liking me, when I felt so alone, unappreciated and wanted to be acknowledged. I forgive myself for not supporting others when they needed me, but I also forgive them for not supporting me when I needed them. 

I forgive myself for not contacting some of my friends in the moments of this global crisis when I felt lost and uneasy, but I also forgive them for not contacting me too. I forgive myself for not being honest with myself and others when my world was falling apart, but I also forgive others for being dishonest too.

I forgive myself for being scared to speak my truth when I should’ve done, but I also forgive others for not speaking their truth too. I forgive myself for hurting others by the words I haven’t chosen carefully, but I also forgive them for unwittingly hurting me with their words too.

I forgive myself for sharing content with people, just because I wanted to be seen, but I also forgive them for posting content just because they wanted attention. I forgive myself for all the unwise choices I’ve made that might have affected others, but I also forgive others for the unwise choices they have made that have affected me. 

And finally, I forgive myself for being unkind to myself. I forgive myself for feeding my body unhealthy food. I forgive myself for spending too much time on my phone. I forgive myself for not exercising enough. I forgive myself for being too stuck in my head when all I needed was to go outside and breathe. I forgive myself for all that I have done to myself in these moments of uncertainty, when I felt unhappy and I suffered so much. And please, forgive yourself for that too. For these are all human emotions, reactions and all of them are perfectly natural, especially when we go through something challenging. 

I honour myself and my journey, and I honour yourself and your journey too. 

I forgive myself and I forgive you too. 

With love, 

Jana x