No, I’m not always positive, inspiring & happy

Many people who don’t really know me, think I’m always about positive vibes, happiness, rainbows and butterflies. Even though I love that idea, life is somehow different in a reality. I have my own struggles, bad days, negative thoughts and upsets. Of course, I wouldn’t share those things on the internet in full details, but what I do instead, is talk about what I’m learning from those experiences so they can inspire and help others. Not everything is as we perceive it, not everyone is who we may think they are.

…and this is one of the reasons not to compare yourself to other people

On the outside, we may think, that others have it ‘all together’ while the truth may lie somewhere else. My own life is an example of that. The last two years have been quite tough for me emotionally, however, there have been fleeting moments of light and happiness that always keep me going. Most people who you follow online may not be exactly as you perceive them. The work colleague who is always smiling may be going through something you know nothing about. Behind those false masks may be a person who is very unhappy, hurt and struggling deeply. The trouble is, we have been taught to be strong, to hide our emotions, without being honest with ourselves and others how we really feel. I’m getting a bit tired of that game. Therefore, I want to share with you more and more of my truth, at least through these blog posts, and by doing so, perhaps give others permission to do the same.

The truth about Jana

Yes, I want to keep inspiring you guys. Yes, I’m excited about so many things in life. And yes, there are great things unfolding in front of me right now, but the truth is: I also feel scared, tired, demotivated, angry, unhappy and unbalanced sometimes. I cry a lot to relieve my emotional pain, but I also cry tears of joy when something works out beautifully for me. The passing of one of my best friends earlier this year really affected me. I miss my friend deeply, but I’m grateful that our paths have crossed and I’m keeping the happy moments we shared in my heart forever. A couple of years ago, two people, I considered great friends and who have been in my life for over a decade betrayed me. But as difficult as this situation was, it made me more grateful for the real friends I have and I can fully rely on. So many things I worked so hard for didn’t work out for me, but I am grateful for the fantastic opportunities these redirections brought into my life.

So, as you can see my friends, life is not always about rainbows, sunshine and butterflies, but doing our best in any given moment despite the challenges we face is what helps us rise again and again.


Self-honesty

I recently recorded a podcast episode about transformation and healing emotions. In this episode I talked about my own experiences with healing my past, letting go of what it no longer serving me, so I can make space for what’s really meant for me. This work also includes being honest with myself. I used to struggle in this area and I was often dishonest when it came to my feelings. I thought, covering how I really feel by repeating positive statements would magically make my struggles disappear. I would pretend that everything’s was great and life was fantastic. The truth was the actual opposite. Let me point out, that I have nothing against positive affirmations or quotations, I still love them. They can truly brighten our day. But when it comes to self-honesty, I had to learn (and still learning) how to love myself for who I am, without pushing how I really feel away. Learning to love every aspect of myself: the beautiful, the dark, the happy, the confused is not always easy, but it’s truly liberating.  It’s called self-love, and I am embracing it fully now. Self-love simply means having a healthy respect towards your beautiful self as a whole. Listed below are a few ways which I found very helpful when it comes to self-honesty.

1) Having a good cry

There is absolutely no shame in having a good cry. In the last couple of months, I am very emotional and cry just a little every single day and I am not ashamed to admit it. There is a beautiful transformation happening in my life right now and I am fully embracing it. I am healing my past and letting whatever comes up to the surface come up, so it can be fully felt, healed and released. It’s a beautiful, but also a painful process, and that’s okay. Having a good cry can help you become more honest with yourself and finally admitting your true feelings to yourself (some you may have been hiding for years).

2) Asking yourself what is working and what is not

This is important. It’s like with a relationship that already served its purpose. Some relationships did, a long time ago, and we may be the only ones who are still trying to save them just because we are so used to them. It’s time to let go. It’s time to start fresh and really becoming honest with yourself and your relationships (whether romantic, business or friendships) and with everything else that needs to go. If something’s wrong, admit it to yourself. Don’t try to fix everything and everyone when there is no point anymore.

3) Expressing yourself on the pages of your diary

Writing is a wonderful exercise which can assist you in healing and becoming really honest with yourself. Express yourself on the pages of your diary without editing yourself. It is yours and you can tell it anything you want without editing yourself. This can be incredibly therapeutic.

A thought to keep

“Real transformation requires real honesty. If you want to move forward ~get real with yourself.” Bryant McGill