Universal signs

A couple of weeks I was on a trip in Montreal. One morning, while there, I visited one of the local coffee shops for breakfast. Something was going on in my life in that particular week and it was keeping my mind pre-occupied, and to be honest, a bit worried. As soon as I walked in, I’ve noticed the energy of the place vibrating on a very high frequency. What do I mean by that? The people working there were singing, smiling, laughing and being generally in a fantastic mood. The music playing in the background reflected the good vibes of the place. It was such a joy to watch these young people worked together as a team. Their beautiful energy was definitely drawing people in.

Almost immediately, I started feeling better and more at peace. When someone smiles at you and asks you, in a very genuine way, how you are, especially in the moments when your mind is elsewhere and worried, you feel that there is love, care and support around you. And that day, I felt exactly that. Watching this energetic group of people working so beautifully and effortlessly together, enjoying their job and making everyone around happy, shifted my perspective on things.

I suddenly felt that everything is going to be okay. I wasn’t as overwhelmed as earlier that morning and I started looking at the situation I was going through differently. I trusted, that I was intuitively lead to visit this particular coffee shop to feel better. For me, it was just another sign from the Universe, the angels and my spiritual guides, that all is well and there is nothing to worry about. The more peace set into my subconscious, the more I was able to notice other signs that grounded to the moment I was in and enabled me to leave my worries aside.

I believe that there is so much guidance around us and this guidance often comes through people, situations, random blessings and also many other seen and unseen forces. It’s just up to us whether we are open to these signs or not. I fully understand that when we have so much going on, it is almost impossible to quiet our minds and truly align to the moment we are in. But it is in the moments of worry, fear or chaos that we need it most. Then, we will open to door to the unlimited help and guidance that is available to us all without question.


Do you worry what other people think of you?

One of the best things I’ve ever decided to give up is the worry what other people think of me. This can be a many-year process (and I’m still in it), but when you begin you will start feeling lighter and more at peace. We give other people so much space in our minds, a space that we could easily use for ourselves, our creativity, our dreams and something way more meaningful. Over the years, I’ve realised that the most important thing is to know who I am, and the way other people perceive me has nothing to do with me. Instead, it has everything to do with them and with the way they perceive the world.

We all have different experiences, beliefs, upbringing and all of that has a huge impact on how we see others, how judgmental or non-judgmental we become. We are all greatly affected by our early conditioning. This early conditioning gave us a platform from which we are building our lives brick by brick. We get influenced by other people’s opinions and their beliefs, and even without realising we adopt them so strongly, and the most repeated ones become facts for us. These so-called facts might have been something that was only an opinion of one person, but by repetition, it got so deeply-rooted within our subconscious, it became unquestionable. That’s how beliefs get formed and from that perspective, we often view the rest of the world and everyone in it.

Do you worry, what other people think of you?

If you are a natural worrier, like me, take a deep breath. The natural worrying is also a result of your early conditioning. The good news is, you can make a decision today to start looking at it from a different perspective. I’m not going to tell you to just stop worrying what others think of you. This doesn’t happen overnight and it can be a long process.

What I’m going to suggest, however, is to ask yourself these few questions: Does it really matter what this person thinks of me? Why do I care so much about this person’s opinion? Is he/she someone very important in my life? Is their opinion going to benefit me in some way (although it might if they give you some useful, developmental feedback)? 

The next thing I’m going to suggest is practising self-love and respect. When we have love and respect towards ourselves, we know who we are and the other people’s opinions don’t matter as such. I’ve written quite a lot on these topics, so feel free to visit my website and check out my blog posts: http://www.mysticbutterfly.co.uk/blog/ And you don’t necessarily have to read those. There are so many resources on the internet these days where you can find so much about self-love, healing and self-respect. Take some time to do your research and give yourself all the love and respect you deserve.

And here is the fact:

Not everyone is going to like you. And you know what? That’s okay. You shouldn’t even try to accomplish that. I used to be a people pleaser and it was such a waste of energy. Live your own life, focus on what matters to you and invest your precious time to people who really love you and care about you, not to the ones you how to prove your worth to.


Are you jealous of others?

A friend of mine recently suggested that I should write about jealousy. I wrote on this topic a couple of times before, but I believe there is always more that can be added to it. The definition of jealousy, according to the Google dictionary, is an envious resentment of someone’s achievements, possessions or perceived advantages…

We all get jealous of other people sometimes, whether we admit it or not. But when jealousy turns into an obsession, that is where we need to take a step back and honest look at our lives. We need to ask ourselves, what is it in me, that is making me feel this way towards someone else? What do I need to heal, what do I need to work on, so I could look at this person from a different perspective?

I believe when we see someone who has something we don’t, we are being shown that we are equally worthy of something similar. Life really is like a mirror and if we pay attention, we can see so many magical signs around us and start noticing what they are trying to tell us. Unfortunately, most people would rather focus on the negative, would rather stay in the victim’s zone and resent others, although unintentionally. They don’t realise that when they resent something in others, they are automatically blocking it from themselves. They could have the same abundance, the same success, the same _____fill in the blank, or even something way better, but they unwittingly choose to kill it before the seed is even planted and could manifest something great in their life. By being jealous they are actually doing a lot of disservice to themselves.

So, how do we deal with jealousy? With one simple rule:

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

As harsh as it may sound, mind your own business, my friend. Focus on you. Why do you waste your precious energy on to something that has nothing to do with you? If it means, getting off social media for a while, do it. If it means narrowing down the circle of people you hang around and who trigger you, go for it. Focus on you and what you are trying to create in your life. Leave others to focus on themselves. All of our journies are different and you should focus on yours and yours alone.

A thought to keep

“The jealous are troublesome to others, but torment to themselves.” ~William Penn


The power of story-telling

I love sharing my stories and experiences with you. I love writing and speaking from the heart. It brings so much happiness to my soul. The reason I share my stories with you, especially the lessons, is because some of you may be going through something similar right now or in the future, and the outlook I’m offering can perhaps help you view your situation from a different perspective or it can offer you some comfort and support. It is the stories that people can easily relate to and see themselves in. There is so much power in all of our stories, whether the stories are inspiring, challenging, happy or sad. There is no shame in what we are going through or what episode of life we are currently in.

Sometimes I get emails from people telling me that they are sorry what is going on in my life, based on the story they read on my blog or social media. This genuinely is a nice gesture and very caring from everyone who takes the time to write. I appreciate these kinds of emails. But my main goal and my intention for sharing any kind of story, whether it’s something challenging or not, is not to make myself a victim and complain that such and such is going on, but to inspire others.

I’m a writer and a story-teller. This comes naturally to me, therefore I write (all kinds of things). I love being of service to others and I believe it is my mission to offer you support when you need it and also let you know, through these stories, that as I coach I don’t have it all figured out. I’m on the journey here on Earth, like everybody else, doing the best I can with the resources and understanding I have at the time. At this time and space, we are surrounded by perfect people and perfect pictures of all kind. By being ourselves and telling the truth about our lives, we show others that it is okay not to be perfect and not to have it all figured out. All is well and life is unfolding as it should.


Let go of control

Last week, my boyfriend and I were visiting my family in Slovakia. During our visit, we happened to play a lot of table tennis. I didn’t know much about table tennis before and only tried to play it a couple of times before. This time, I’ve decided to learn more about the game.

At first, I felt under pressure and a bit intimidated every time I played. But after a few days, I discovered something that astounded me. The more I played, the more relaxed I became, whether I won or lost. I don’t remember the last time I felt this calm while playing a game. Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been quite competitive in any sport or game. I’ve realised that being calm and not having a controlling attitude, allowed me to fully enjoy the game and also do well in it.

The point of this post is not to teach you about table tennis, but about letting go of expectations and relaxing more into life. When we stop obsessing about something, whether that’s an outcome or wanting things to go a certain way, we become calmer and at peace with ourselves and the world around us. This leads to no expectations and a more joyful way of being. Expectations often lead to disappointments. Going with the flow, on the contrary, is what releases the pressure and allows things to unfold naturally. It makes the whole life experience more interesting and way more meaningful.
Nobody likes controlling energy. Nobody likes controlling people with attitude, obsessing about every single detail or outcome in their life. Nobody likes needy energy and annoying people who put pressure on others. We can all easily feel this kind of energy, and naturally, want to get away from it ASAP.
So, try to relax more into life, even though it may be hard at times. Remember the above example in times when you are trying to control something or someone, and instead of controlling, take a few deep breaths, count down from ten to one, and ask yourself, whether you want to waste your precious energy by being controlling or you want to feel more at peace about it? Remember, that we can’t get too far by having a controlling attitude, however, by approaching life in a calmer manner will bring ourselves more joyful experiences.

Pretending to be fearless

When I was younger I didn’t have many friends. I wanted to be liked and accepted, so I began seeking approval from others and pretending that my life was interesting, even though it was a complete opposite of that. I wanted to know what it would feel like to be like the popular kids at school and I would do anything to make it happen. I carried the desire to be liked and accepted to my adulthood, and as a result of this, brought so much pain into my life.

Seeking attention and approval was something I would search for daily. Only then, I could feel worthy and somehow accepted. I was constantly trying to prove to others that I was good enough and I wasn’t afraid. I was trying to impress people by showing them what it means to lead this wonderful and adventurous lifestyle that looked good on the outside but was so painful on the inside.

I was full of fear, unhappy and living a big lie. Later, completely exhausted of the theatre performance I put on for many years, I realised none of it makes any sense and how silly it was. I’ve decided to become more myself and being okay with it. Of course, stepping into my truth wasn’t easy at all. Feelings of shame, guilt and anxiety have been following me around like a dark cloud. I still detour to these places every now and then, but I’m no longer hard on myself when I do. I’m not afraid to be myself anymore.

Becoming true to myself

Admitting that I was afraid and stopping to seek approval from others released a lot of pressure from my life. I was no longer relying on them to praise me for my accomplishments and admiring how wonderful my life seemed, instead, I committed to live more and more in my truth. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

If you want to impress someone, impress yourself

The only person you should try to impress is yourself. Forget about impressing other people, stop seeking attention and approval from them and focus on you. What’s the point of pretending to be fearless or worrying what others think of you? It’s not always easy, I completely understand, but give it a go. You’ll feel more at peace and free.


You are far too unique to be comparing yourself to others

In these times of digital age, we often think, how wonderful other people’s lives are when we look on social media. We see photos of luxurious holidays, flawless selfies of young women with perfect hair. We see inspiring men and women posting fitness videos and pictures in their workout gear and drinking green juices every morning to keep them looking young, healthy and beautiful.

Don’t get me wrong. I love social media and the age we live in. I often get inspired by other people’s sharings and it is through social media I’ve connected with so many incredible people around the entire world.

But being surrounded by all these amazing and flawless beings who are showing us their incredible lives, can make some of us wondering: Where’s my perfect body? Where is my beautiful skin? Where’s my money for all these dream holidays and helicopter rides?’ We begin to compare ourselves to these people and then we feel bad. The truth is, even their reality may not be the way they are presenting it on their social media accounts.

There are not many people who would talk about their struggles online, that they had a bad day or they’ve put on so much weight on in the last couple of months. Instead, people talk about their highlights, which is understandable. Who knows, they may be going through something difficult, we know nothing about, but would not share it publicly. Instead, they lift themselves up by posting something that helps them stay on a positive frequency. Of course, there are also people who like to show off to make others believe how incredible their lives are. But there are also so many genuine people who are just simply excited to share their happiness with others.

I recently read an article about a young model who would post a photo of herself on social media every single day. In that article, she described the whole experience as a rather daunting process. It would take her ages to get ready, take a selfie, airbrushing it and writing a catchy caption to ensure she gets many likes and followers. This always left her feeling exhausted and unfulfilled until she has changed her attitude towards it and started using social media differently.

I must admit, I also airbrushed some of my photos before. I’m still very particular what I post and how I present myself on the internet. But in the last couple of years, I am learning to be more raw and real, as well in photos, so in my articles. Since then, I’ve become to feel more at ease. When you are real, people can relate to you more. They don’t feel intimidated by you or feel bad that they don’t have it all figured out. Then, the comparison becomes irrelevant.

So my friends, let’s be more true to ourselves. Let’s stop comparing ourselves to all these ‘perfect’ people online. We are far too unique to be comparing ourselves to others. Let’s be more loving towards our beautiful selves and let’s stop putting so much pressure on them. Let’s be more authentic and show the world that it’s okay to be that way.


Dealing with difficult people

One of my students recently told me that he has been dealing with a difficult colleague at work. This colleague occasionally picks on him, points things out to him and is being generally unpleasant. When I learned about this, I could immediately relate to his situation. Years and years of bullying at school and by the kids in the village I grew up made me a little qualified to give advice in this area.

I believe when someone is unpleasant to us or picks on us, has nothing to do with us, but everything to do with them. Bullies, whether we encounter them at work, school or on social media are only insecure individuals. They are so insecure that they need to pick on others, whom they consider weaker, to feel powerful and in control. The truth is, they are the weak ones because all they are doing is seeking attention and trying to be seen while making someone else’s life difficult. They often want us to fight back so they can bring us down even more. This is not how we should approach them.

Staying true to ourselves while dealing with someone difficult means standing in our power. Staying true to ourselves means not lowering ourselves to their standard. That’s what they want. Ignoring the person’s unnecessary comments where possible, minding our own business and not engaging in a conversation with them unless we have to is important. Someone like that doesn’t even deserve our response.

These days we can also encounter difficult people or bullies on social media. The best way when someone makes an unpleasant comment to your account or is rude is to ignore it or immediately block them off.  These kinds of individuals don’t deserve your precious time and energy. What have they done for you, except making you feel uncomfortable? Block them!

When things get out of control, it is equally important not to suffer in silence. I was glad my student approach me and shared with me his concerns. I advised him, that if it gets worse, to definitely talk to his manager and raise his concerns. We spend so much of our time at work and if someone makes us feel uncomfortable there this creates lots of unnecessary stress and anxiety which we can be without. I also told him if this guy asks him why is he ignoring him to simply say: ‘Can I be honest with you? You are making me feel uncomfortable. Unless you have something important to say to me, which is work-related, please don’t say anything at all.’  

The truth is, we are not going to get on with everybody in life and we shouldn’t even try. When I used to be bullied at school, I was trying to befriend these people and do things for them, just to create peace. It was 100% wrong and being untrue to myself. Well, I didn’t know any better, being only an innocent and a scared child. Remember, whoever has brought any kind of pain or discomfort into your life doesn’t deserve a place in your life.


I won’t betray myself anymore

Have you ever betrayed yourself? What does it actually mean to betray yourself? To my understanding, it means putting other people’s needs before your own, making others comfortable on your account, doing things for other people, even though you know they wouldn’t do the same for you, investing your precious time and energy to people who previously let you down or denying your truth. This list can go on and on. I must admit, I’m personally tired of doing this. I’m also tired of watching others who are letting themselves being taken advantage of. I feel that talking about this is important because, so many of us, especially the ones who are not so outspoken, the ones who struggle, suffer in silence or are kept in the dark, are always the ones who either lose out and are taken advantage of. I know this because I’m unlearning all of the above and more on a daily basis. I’ve betrayed myself far too many times and now is the time to change that.

So here is my Proclamation:

  • I no longer betray myself by saying yes when I mean no, just for someone else’s comfort
  • I no longer betray myself and invest my time and energy to people who previously let me down
  • I no longer feel guilty for not responding to other people’s messages or emails straight away, especially when I’m tired and need to save my precious energy
  • I no longer betray myself and stay in the dark to keep others in the spotlight
  • I no longer betray myself by denying my truth
  • I no longer betray myself by putting myself second
  • I no longer betray myself for making others comfortable while I would lose out
  • I no longer betray myself and seek approval from others
  • I no longer betray myself and respond to someone’s social media comment, that is pushy or is making me uncomfortable, just to be nice
  • I no longer invest my time to people who simply don’t care and only contact me when they want something
  • I no longer betray myself by comparing myself to others (I mind my own business, everything else it’s just noise)
  • I no longer betray myself by allowing others to take advantage of me
  • I no longer betray myself for worrying too much what others think of me
  • I no longer betray myself to draw myself into other people’s melodramas

Jana x                                                                                                                                                                                                      


Rising above hurtful comments

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend told me that one of his regular customers asked him how he was doing. He replied: Great! I’ve just come back from a lovely holiday with my girlfriend and her family.” His customer replied: Are you still with her?” My boyfriend said: “Of course.” The man responded: Never trust an Eastern European. All they want is your money.” My boyfriend, utterly in shock, responded: Well, that’s what you think, and you don’t know my girlfriend and who she is. She is an amazing person who always helps others, never uses anyone, is a giver, educated and well-accomplished young woman. One of the most generous and nicest people I’ve ever known.”  The man said, none of that means anything, because she is an Eastern European. William, my boyfriend, was very disappointed because he has known this man for some time, liked him and would never expect him to say anything like that. At that point, he changed his mind about him completely. The wife of this man, who was with him, looked embarrassed and in shock too.

My reaction:

When I learned what this man has said, I got upset. He never even met me, and unfortunately, had some ideas in his mind that prompted him to say these hurtful things, most of all, making him look silly in front of my boyfriend. Because I was born in Slovakia doesn’t mean that I cannot be trusted or would take advantage of anyone?  It made me wonder where and how do people come up with these kinds of ideas? Why we, as humanity, judge others based on their nationality, religion or skin colour? I happened to be born in Slovakia. Does this mean I should be put into a certain category? On the other hand, when somebody happens to be born in some so-called, well-developed country, is that going to make them better than others? None of it makes sense. People often don’t realise how their unwise comments can crush someone’s confidence and make them feel small, especially someone who already have low self-esteem and little confidence. I must admit, this unpleasant comment upset me, but luckily I don’t believe in separation, so I managed to get over it quite quickly. My boyfriend wasn’t sure whether to tell me about it at first, but because we are both very honest with each other, he decided to share it with me. I’m pleased he did because I always learn so much from these examples and can help others through them.

The truth is:

Your nationality, religion, skin colour, job title and whatever label the world has placed on you does not define you. Because, for example,  you were happened to be born in one part of the world, that is not considered a great empire or something amazing, does not make you feel less than anybody else. These lies need to be finally dissolved because they are poisoning the entire world. Who came up with them in the first place? Is it people who drew lines on the map and created borders? Is it people who created different religions? Is it people who said that people with different skin colour are less than others? Is it people who said that someone is not good enough because their parents are labour workers and others are successful entrepreneurs? We need to let go of these silly lies once and for all and start creating a world that is happy and comfortable for everyone. The planet belongs to all of us, despite where we came from and we should all get the opportunity to experience it fully.

Yes, it makes me frustrated and fearful to write about this. But at the same time, it also makes me feel strong about my opinions and the truth I’m ready to fully step into and share with you. The world needs to finally wake up. We need to treat each person as an individual, as a fellow human being, an occupant of this earth, a citizen of the universe. That’s who we really are. Let’s look beyond the labels and lies like this and rise above them. Let’s start looking at them as something that once existed and was so pathetic to even talk about. Let’s be more kind to each other. Let’s make this experience on the earth happy and fulfilling one to help reach a higher consciousness of this planet and in the entire universe.

So what can we do today to have more unity consciousness rather than living in separation? Is there something we can do to become wiser and live at peace with each other rather than believing the lies the world has placed upon us? How can we educate the unaware, like the man who has put me into a category and made some unpleasant comments about me, before he has even met me? There are a few things we can do.

Be an example

Becoming an example to others and living our truth can be a huge step. We don’t have to preach anything to anyone, but by simply being kind and compassionate towards each other, we can inspire other people to do the same.

If your journey is the difficult one, you’ve been given an opportunity

If you happened to be born in a country that is not considered the ‘hot spot’ or something interesting to others, you have a great opportunity to take this to your advantage. You have an opportunity to rise above the label you’ve been given and show others how proud you are of the place you have been born to. Show the world that people from this country are equal to the rest.  Don’t be ashamed of your background, of your story and prove all these lies wrong. Educate others and let them know, not in a pushy way, that you, like everybody else, deserve the same amount of respect and affection and you shouldn’t be looked down on. You have the same rights, like everyone else and you are worthy because you were born. If you feel unworthy or less than, put this out of your mind right now. I know it can be difficult, especially if you are a ‘foreigner’ living in another country, I completely get it, because I’ve been facing this my whole adult life and it’s not always easy. We meet all sorts of people and not all of them are welcoming. But remember, you are the citizen of this world and you have the same rights, like everyone else. You should be the one to promote this truth and let others know that it is time to finally look beyond the old fashioned labels.

You are enough!

You are good enough as anybody else. No one should be putting you down and make you feel inferior. You are also powerful to embrace and rise above any challenge you face. So, if you have ever felt unworthy and experienced nasty or unfair comments from people like the one I described at the beginning of this post, please know that you are not alone. At the same time, please know that if the person who said something like that was a happy person, grounded and loving person, they wouldn’t have said it. They would mind their own business and making such comments would feel embarrassing to them and it would be proof that they are the ones who really need to wake up and educate themselves. Look at this post as an invitation to your greatness. Look at is as a new opportunity to hold your head up high, to become stronger and be there for others who may be facing something similar.

Rant over 🙂