Dealing with difficult people

One of my students recently told me that he has been dealing with a difficult colleague at work. This colleague occasionally picks on him, points things out to him and is being generally unpleasant. When I learned about this, I could immediately relate to his situation. Years and years of bullying at school and by the kids in the village I grew up made me a little qualified to give advice in this area.

I believe when someone is unpleasant to us or picks on us, has nothing to do with us, but everything to do with them. Bullies, whether we encounter them at work, school or on social media are only insecure individuals. They are so insecure that they need to pick on others, whom they consider weaker, to feel powerful and in control. The truth is, they are the weak ones because all they are doing is seeking attention and trying to be seen while making someone else’s life difficult. They often want us to fight back so they can bring us down even more. This is not how we should approach them.

Staying true to ourselves while dealing with someone difficult means standing in our power. Staying true to ourselves means not lowering ourselves to their standard. That’s what they want. Ignoring the person’s unnecessary comments where possible, minding our own business and not engaging in a conversation with them unless we have to is important. Someone like that doesn’t even deserve our response.

These days we can also encounter difficult people or bullies on social media. The best way when someone makes an unpleasant comment to your account or is rude is to ignore it or immediately block them off.  These kinds of individuals don’t deserve your precious time and energy. What have they done for you, except making you feel uncomfortable? Block them!

When things get out of control, it is equally important not to suffer in silence. I was glad my student approach me and shared with me his concerns. I advised him, that if it gets worse, to definitely talk to his manager and raise his concerns. We spend so much of our time at work and if someone makes us feel uncomfortable there this creates lots of unnecessary stress and anxiety which we can be without. I also told him if this guy asks him why is he ignoring him to simply say: ‘Can I be honest with you? You are making me feel uncomfortable. Unless you have something important to say to me, which is work-related, please don’t say anything at all.’  

The truth is, we are not going to get on with everybody in life and we shouldn’t even try. When I used to be bullied at school, I was trying to befriend these people and do things for them, just to create peace. It was 100% wrong and being untrue to myself. Well, I didn’t know any better, being only an innocent and a scared child. Remember, whoever has brought any kind of pain or discomfort into your life doesn’t deserve a place in your life.


I won’t betray myself anymore

Have you ever betrayed yourself? What does it actually mean to betray yourself? To my understanding, it means putting other people’s needs before your own, making others comfortable on your account, doing things for other people, even though you know they wouldn’t do the same for you, investing your precious time and energy to people who previously let you down or denying your truth. This list can go on and on. I must admit, I’m personally tired of doing this. I’m also tired of watching others who are letting themselves being taken advantage of. I feel that talking about this is important because, so many of us, especially the ones who are not so outspoken, the ones who struggle, suffer in silence or are kept in the dark, are always the ones who either lose out and are taken advantage of. I know this because I’m unlearning all of the above and more on a daily basis. I’ve betrayed myself far too many times and now is the time to change that.

So here is my Proclamation:

  • I no longer betray myself by saying yes when I mean no, just for someone else’s comfort
  • I no longer betray myself and invest my time and energy to people who previously let me down
  • I no longer feel guilty for not responding to other people’s messages or emails straight away, especially when I’m tired and need to save my precious energy
  • I no longer betray myself and stay in the dark to keep others in the spotlight
  • I no longer betray myself by denying my truth
  • I no longer betray myself by putting myself second
  • I no longer betray myself for making others comfortable while I would lose out
  • I no longer betray myself and seek approval from others
  • I no longer betray myself and respond to someone’s social media comment, that is pushy or is making me uncomfortable, just to be nice
  • I no longer invest my time to people who simply don’t care and only contact me when they want something
  • I no longer betray myself by comparing myself to others (I mind my own business, everything else it’s just noise)
  • I no longer betray myself by allowing others to take advantage of me
  • I no longer betray myself for worrying too much what others think of me
  • I no longer betray myself to draw myself into other people’s melodramas

Jana x                                                                                                                                                                                                      


Rising above hurtful comments

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend told me that one of his regular customers asked him how he was doing. He replied: Great! I’ve just come back from a lovely holiday with my girlfriend and her family.” His customer replied: Are you still with her?” My boyfriend said: “Of course.” The man responded: Never trust an Eastern European. All they want is your money.” My boyfriend, utterly in shock, responded: Well, that’s what you think, and you don’t know my girlfriend and who she is. She is an amazing person who always helps others, never uses anyone, is a giver, educated and well-accomplished young woman. One of the most generous and nicest people I’ve ever known.”  The man said, none of that means anything, because she is an Eastern European. William, my boyfriend, was very disappointed because he has known this man for some time, liked him and would never expect him to say anything like that. At that point, he changed his mind about him completely. The wife of this man, who was with him, looked embarrassed and in shock too.

My reaction:

When I learned what this man has said, I got upset. He never even met me, and unfortunately, had some ideas in his mind that prompted him to say these hurtful things, most of all, making him look silly in front of my boyfriend. Because I was born in Slovakia doesn’t mean that I cannot be trusted or would take advantage of anyone?  It made me wonder where and how do people come up with these kinds of ideas? Why we, as humanity, judge others based on their nationality, religion or skin colour? I happened to be born in Slovakia. Does this mean I should be put into a certain category? On the other hand, when somebody happens to be born in some so-called, well-developed country, is that going to make them better than others? None of it makes sense. People often don’t realise how their unwise comments can crush someone’s confidence and make them feel small, especially someone who already have low self-esteem and little confidence. I must admit, this unpleasant comment upset me, but luckily I don’t believe in separation, so I managed to get over it quite quickly. My boyfriend wasn’t sure whether to tell me about it at first, but because we are both very honest with each other, he decided to share it with me. I’m pleased he did because I always learn so much from these examples and can help others through them.

The truth is:

Your nationality, religion, skin colour, job title and whatever label the world has placed on you does not define you. Because, for example,  you were happened to be born in one part of the world, that is not considered a great empire or something amazing, does not make you feel less than anybody else. These lies need to be finally dissolved because they are poisoning the entire world. Who came up with them in the first place? Is it people who drew lines on the map and created borders? Is it people who created different religions? Is it people who said that people with different skin colour are less than others? Is it people who said that someone is not good enough because their parents are labour workers and others are successful entrepreneurs? We need to let go of these silly lies once and for all and start creating a world that is happy and comfortable for everyone. The planet belongs to all of us, despite where we came from and we should all get the opportunity to experience it fully.

Yes, it makes me frustrated and fearful to write about this. But at the same time, it also makes me feel strong about my opinions and the truth I’m ready to fully step into and share with you. The world needs to finally wake up. We need to treat each person as an individual, as a fellow human being, an occupant of this earth, a citizen of the universe. That’s who we really are. Let’s look beyond the labels and lies like this and rise above them. Let’s start looking at them as something that once existed and was so pathetic to even talk about. Let’s be more kind to each other. Let’s make this experience on the earth happy and fulfilling one to help reach a higher consciousness of this planet and in the entire universe.

So what can we do today to have more unity consciousness rather than living in separation? Is there something we can do to become wiser and live at peace with each other rather than believing the lies the world has placed upon us? How can we educate the unaware, like the man who has put me into a category and made some unpleasant comments about me, before he has even met me? There are a few things we can do.

Be an example

Becoming an example to others and living our truth can be a huge step. We don’t have to preach anything to anyone, but by simply being kind and compassionate towards each other, we can inspire other people to do the same.

If your journey is the difficult one, you’ve been given an opportunity

If you happened to be born in a country that is not considered the ‘hot spot’ or something interesting to others, you have a great opportunity to take this to your advantage. You have an opportunity to rise above the label you’ve been given and show others how proud you are of the place you have been born to. Show the world that people from this country are equal to the rest.  Don’t be ashamed of your background, of your story and prove all these lies wrong. Educate others and let them know, not in a pushy way, that you, like everybody else, deserve the same amount of respect and affection and you shouldn’t be looked down on. You have the same rights, like everyone else and you are worthy because you were born. If you feel unworthy or less than, put this out of your mind right now. I know it can be difficult, especially if you are a ‘foreigner’ living in another country, I completely get it, because I’ve been facing this my whole adult life and it’s not always easy. We meet all sorts of people and not all of them are welcoming. But remember, you are the citizen of this world and you have the same rights, like everyone else. You should be the one to promote this truth and let others know that it is time to finally look beyond the old fashioned labels.

You are enough!

You are good enough as anybody else. No one should be putting you down and make you feel inferior. You are also powerful to embrace and rise above any challenge you face. So, if you have ever felt unworthy and experienced nasty or unfair comments from people like the one I described at the beginning of this post, please know that you are not alone. At the same time, please know that if the person who said something like that was a happy person, grounded and loving person, they wouldn’t have said it. They would mind their own business and making such comments would feel embarrassing to them and it would be proof that they are the ones who really need to wake up and educate themselves. Look at this post as an invitation to your greatness. Look at is as a new opportunity to hold your head up high, to become stronger and be there for others who may be facing something similar.

Rant over 🙂


When things go wrong & after all, none of it is a big deal

Just over a week ago, I returned from a holiday in beautiful Croatia. Although the holiday was wonderful and I had a lovely time with my boyfriend and my family, quite a few things have gone wrong which made my energy scattered all over the place, left me feeling edgy and prevented me from fully relaxing and enjoying my time off. Just want to say at the beginning, that it is not a point of this post to moan- far from it.

Please, hear me out…

So, since we arrived in Croatia, I had many things on my mind, most I had no control over. I found it difficult to relax. To make matters worse, in the middle of our trip, my neighbour had sent me a text, that she is having a leak down her wall and it seems to be coming from my flat. This really upset me, because there was nothing I could do, being so far away. I could only call a few people to deal with it on my behalf. I later found out, it had nothing to do with me, as I always triple check everything is switched off before I leave home.

Another inconvenience came out of upgrading my mobile phone (online), just a few days before our trip. I didn’t give any of this a second thought and assumed that all will work out fine. It turned out later, that the whole process wasn’t as smooth as I thought it would be. I received my new phone a couple of days before the trip, but without my original number being transferred to it. My network provider said, the number will work within a couple of days, but sadly it didn’t. I was on the phone to my network provider daily, for the first few days of my holiday, without any success. All of it was big chaos, and of course, dealing with the leak situation and having two different phone numbers didn’t help either. Luckily for an iMessage being connected to my original number and my email address, I didn’t miss any important messages. But then, something happened which really struck me.

Just a few days before leaving Croatia, I learned that a girl, I’ve been following on social media for years had lost her life in a tragic accident. I didn’t know her personally, just through the internet, but felt really connected to her in many ways. She was a beacon of light in this world and a beautiful person inside-out. At that point, I’ve had enough. I broke down and gave up. Despite all the scenarios listed above, the magnitude of this situation put all of them aside. They were so insignificant, just general inconveniences. I felt sad, powerless, confused, upset, heartbroken and angry. All of these situations were so unimportant, in comparison to what happened to this beautiful young woman who was only 35.

The lesson from this is to stop taking the little inconveniences so seriously. I know they can be annoying, but after all, they are not a big deal and can be somehow resolved. Let’s be grateful for every single day in our lives and for all the amazing people in it. Let’s tell them daily how much we love them and appreciate them. Let’s be more loving and compassionate towards each other, even towards the people we don’t find so easy to connect with. After all, they are also human beings, sometimes confused and scared the same way as we are. Let’s stop making such a big deal of things that don’t really matter and take them more lightly. Let’s invest our precious energy to that which matters the most.


Taking advice from people who are not doing what you want to do

Have you ever met someone who has told you that something you are trying to accomplish wouldn’t be possible for you? A person, who would unintentionally or maybe intentionally try to crush your dream before you even begin? It happened to me quite a few times.

One time, in my twenties, when I decided to take the route of becoming a private pilot. I was excited about my dream, so I was telling many people about it and of course, most of them were very encouraging and genuinely happy for me. But one day, I had a conversation with a person who started listing all the reason why I could fail. He said, that it would be too hard, there is so much maths and physics involved, that English is not my first language, so it would be even double-hard, besides I’m going to put myself into to lots of debt because flying is just too expensive.

It turned out later, this individual didn’t even have a pilot’s license himself, yet he was trying to crush my dream before I even began my journey. Since then, I’m really careful who I share my dreams with and take advice from, especially the people who are not doing something I’m striving to do.

You decide what’s possible for you

There are many possibilities for all of us and it is up to us whether we make something happen or not. If you believe in yourself and put the hard work into it, you can make anything happen. If it’s important to you, you will find a way, if not, you will find an excuse. Listen to your own inner wisdom and focus on what you want to do.

Be aware of people who are negative about something you are excited about

These kind of people are incapable of doing something themselves, so they try to push their fear onto you too. If they were willing to change the approach, they could definitely achieve some great things themselves. Unfortunately, they are too focused on the ‘Why they can’t’.

To summarise it, don’t be angry with these people, but rather be compassionate. Always be positive and who knows…maybe your positive approach towards your dream will show them, that they too can accomplish some cool things in their lives just by changing their attitude. Anyhow, taking advice from people who are not doing what you want to do is a big NO, NO! Focus on you, your dreams and most importantly, have fun in this process.

And lastly, besides the hard work and everything else that man listed, I completed my training successfully and became a private pilot 🙂 What a great journey it has been.


Speak up & stand in your power

Ever since I can remember, I have been afraid of standing up for myself. I often said yes when I meant no, just to please others. I would go out of my way doing favours for other people, so they wouldn’t get upset with me, even though I knew they wouldn’t do the same for me. I didn’t know what being assertive meant and thought of myself as inferior and worthless. All I was striving for was to be liked, accepted and have friends. With that, came lots of advantage-taking and emotional pain. I had no boundaries and this caused me so much inner suffering.

In terms of speaking up, this was a huge deal for me. I must admit, I still detour into this place more than you may think. Picking up the phone and deal with something that can’t be resolved any other way, making a complaint at a department store which I have a full right to make can still be a big challenge for me. Why? I’m still afraid. I still haven’t healed myself fully, my past fears and feelings of inadequacy. That’s the truth.

Confidence

Most people who don’t know me think I’m very confident. In my case, confidence is a learned skill. By making this statement I don’t mean I’m faking it or I’m pretending to be someone I’m not. I’ve passed that stage. What I mean, however, is that we live in a tough world, and learning to be tough and becoming more confident is a necessity, especially for us introverts. On the other hand, I am very confident in my ideas and beliefs, and I’m so happy this comes to me naturally.

Setting boundaries

The year 2010 was a year of big changes for me when my inner transformation truly began. Little did that I know at the time, it will take years to shed off many old energies and unlearning bad habits which caused me so much pain and anxiety. I’m still working on it, but the transformation I am seeing is incredible. I’m learning to speak up more and fear the world less. I’m learning to stand in my power and be the person I truly am without pretending or trying to impress anyone. It’s not always an easy process, but I am willing to be a life long student if I must.

Why am I sharing all this with you today?

  • To help you be your authentic self while you are working on bettering yourself
  • To give you permission to step out of your own comfort zone, so you can start becoming the person you truly are
  • To help you release the blocks that have been holding you back and step into your truth, fully
  • To help you accept that it is okay to disappoint people when their requests don’t resonate with your truth
  • To help you let go of old beliefs and labels others may have placed on you and you so deeply accepted

“Own your truth. Be who you came here to be. Don’t be ashamed of your story and show the world the beautiful person and soul that you truly are.”

~Jana Prackova 


From a procrastinator to an action taker

Hello to all procrastinators. You know who you are, so let’s get right to the point. Are you the one who always complains about not having enough time or coming up with all sorts of excuses (having no energy, not enough finances, being too tired, too cold etc.)? I get it. We all detour to these places once in a while. The question is: Is procrastination starting to affect your every daily life?

I’ve realised that doing the work that has been on your mind doesn’t take that long at all. What does take long, however, is thinking about it. So when I, for example, procrastinate on something, let’s say writing an article, I may spend more time and energy having it in the back of my mind rather than investing my time to actually write. The task may only take me half an hour, yet I sometimes waste 2-3 days putting it aside. When I finally get round to it, I’m amazed how quickly I was able to complete it.

Invest your time to things that matter

We all have 24 hours a day and it’s up to us how we spend these 24 hours. Do you invest most of your time on mindless scrolling through social media or do you actually do the things you say you have no time for? This is a time to get honest with yourself. Imagine how much you could accomplish by adjusting your daily habits? There is a huge difference between being busy and being busy doing things that matter. So what can you discard and what can you keep to create more space in your life?

Begin and the results will follow

Take action today. No more excuses, simply go and do it. Remember what we said earlier, the actual work doesn’t take that long, it’s the thinking about it that takes forever and so much space in your busy mind. Make a decision today, that you are going to step out of the procrastinator zone and you will become that action taker you know you are. So, let’s start making those dreams a reality. It’s time to take action.

A thought to keep

“The best way to get something done is to begin.” ~Author unknown 


What would you like to manifest in your life? Simply decide to have it now

What if I told you that with one simple decision you can change your life? What if I told you that with one simple decision you can get healthy, prosperous, successful or happier? What if I told you that your true power lies within yourself, and by changing your perspective you can shift anything you want in your life.

So, what is it that you truly desire? What would you like to accomplish? What would you like to see happening in your life now? Is it having more finances, a new career, better health or a beautiful relationship? Simply decide.

When you make a decision, you are putting your invisible desire out to the universe and saying, you are ready to see it in your physical reality. Of course, this process may take a little while, but this is entirely up to you and the frequency you put yourself on. It also depends on your belief system and your feeling about it.

Do you feel worthy of your desire? Do you truly believe it can be yours? If so, you are closer than you may think. Feel the feelings of already feeling how you are going to feel when your desire is manifested. Visualising and feeling your desire with you now are the secrets of a creative process. You have to see it in your mind’s eye and feel it within the whole level of your being before it happens. 

Your decision changes everything

Making a decision about what you truly want, means stepping out of your current frequency into a new and higher frequency. This will start creating your new reality. Your current reality is the result of the choices you have made up to this point. If you want to change that reality, you have to change your frequency. And you change your frequency by making a new, conscious decision. This way, you begin the process of re-programming your mind.

My boyfriend and I are currently in the process of changing our perspective on things we thought wouldn’t be possible. We are re-programming our mindsets, making new and exciting choices and letting go of old stories and beliefs. It is a very refreshing process. The results we are starting to see are incredible, and new ideas and possibilities are lining up in front of us almost on a daily basis.

The power lies within you

You are an amazing universal artist and you should start using your magical power now. Start creating the life you desire. You truly deserve it.


8 powerful daily reminders

In this fast pace moving world, we often forget to remind ourselves what really matters in life. I believe there are many things we can say to ourselves every single day and they can have a positive impact on our lives. Let’s be honest: Life doesn’t have to be so serious. It should be joyful and adventurous. After all, it is an amazing journey that we should all treasure. Listed below are 8 of my favourite things I began reminding myself every single day and as a result of that, I’m starting to see some great results.

1) You are good enough just as you are

You are good enough just as you are. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Remind these words to yourself every single day, especially in this social media era, where everyone compares to themselves to each other.

2) You create your own reality

Many books and articles have been written about the law of attraction and manifesting. The point I want to make here is this: Be mindful of your thoughts, they create your reality. Your outside world is always a reflection of your inner state.

3) Your dreams can come true

Your dreams can definitely come true if you have the courage to pursue them. Keep taking action every single day towards your dreams, keep working and keep learning from your mistakes. Never give up, your dreams can come true.

4) Be kind to yourself and others

Always be kind to yourself and others. One kind world can change somebody’s entire day and even their life. The same applies to you too. Stop being so hard on yourself and speak kindly to yourself.

5) It’s okay to take rest and don’t feel guilty about it

I must admit, I can sometimes be a workaholic. I have to force myself sometimes to take rest and don’t feel guilty about it. Taking rest is essential to our wellbeing and we should really make it one of our priorities. I’m noticing more and more how much my perfomance improves and how much more after I get done after a proper rest.

6) Be grateful

Gratitude turns what we have into enough. Ask yourself: What am I grateful for today? Get a piece of paper or your notebook/journal and write it all down. This can set your day on a positive frequency.

7) Listen to your inner wisdom

Your intuition is your greatest guide. I often say to people, when you want to make the right decision don’t only ask yourself what do I think about it, but most importantly is to ask yourself: How do I feel about it? Pay attention to the signs in your body, to your feelings and visions. Don’t ignore them, trust them.

8) What has happened served its purpose

We often travel back in time and pay for the same mistakes just by thinking about them. Past is not here anymore and there is nothing that can be changed about the past, only your approach towards your past can be changed. Remember that what has happened served its purpose. Learn from it and focus as much possible on the present moment ~the only place where the true life exists. 


Exciting News: The Mystic Butterfly Notebook is here!

I am so excited to share with you that I recently created my first Mystic Butterfly Notebook with a help of two amazing women, my wonderful sister Maria, a talented artist and a creative and lovely Jane, a graphic designer and author. The notebook will be officially out very soon and I will be announcing the date in the next couple of weeks.

The Mystic Butterfly Notebook can be used in a couple of ways:

1) It’s here to accompany my book Mystic Butterfly ~a guide to your true self

I strongly encourage you to use it when you are working through the exercises in the book. Write it all down and keep it as a guide you can refer to.

2) To begin each day by listing things you are grateful for & fill the rest of the pages with your thoughts, feelings, dreams & visions for the future

Every left-hand side page begins with a saying: Today I am grateful for… which basically means, you can use it as a journal. Start each day by listing things you are grateful for. When you adopt this as a daily practice, you can set yourself on a positive note first thing in the morning. Remember that when we are grateful for what we already have in our lives, that often turns everything else into enough. What a wonderful exercise to begin the day.

At the bottom of every right-hand side page, is a positive affirmation (a different one for every day), which is designed to inspire you. Fill the pages of your notebook with your thoughts, feelings, dreams and visions for the future. It is yours and you can say it all your secrets and desires.

The notebook comes in a hardback cover format and has 154 pages.

I can’t even express how happy I am about this new creation and I really believe it will serve you well. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me: jana@mysticbutterfly.co.uk and I will get back to you within 48 hours.