Is it time to upgrade your relationships?

I believe everyone comes to our life for a reason. But, not all of these people will stay in our life for a lifetime. Some of them may only come for a season, perhaps for a few years, a decade maybe, and others may only be passing by. And, that’s all okay. We are all learning, growing, changing, shifting our perspective, and it is perfectly fine for every single person on this planet to choose who they want to surround themselves by in this particular time in life.

So, I have a few questions for you: Have you ever had a feeling you need to do a little clear-out in your circles or maybe to upgrade your relationships? Are you keeping in touch with certain people, just to be nice, or because they have always been there, but the truth is, you have nothing in common anymore? Do you dread picking up the phone when you see a particular name on your telephone screen? Are there any people in your life who have been holding you back for years or are just too negative and dragging you down? Are there people in your life, who don’t really care about you (you just know this), don’t answer your text messages, ignore your emails and only contact you when they need something?’ 

Well, my friend, it may be time to let go.

This may sound a bit harsh, but some people are not meant to share this journey with you, or to put more precisely, be part of the journey you are on right now. We often know when the friendship or a relationship has served its purpose, but the hard part is to let go. I know you care about other people’s feelings and worry how they would they react, because you are a genuine and a nice person. But, you always have to put yourself first, and if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. On the other hand, if you truly care about the relationship and want to save it, the wiser choice would be to sit down and talk it through with the other person.

But sometimes, it really is a time to let go. When you finally let go, you’ll feel lots of weight coming off your shoulders. You’ll feel you can see more clearly and breathe more easily. This way, you will also make space for some new people to come into your life; the people who are meant to be part of your journey.

It is perfectly okay not to hang around with people you used to go to school or college with, or some former work colleagues you have nothing in common anymore. You have all grown on many different levels, may want different things now and just simply not much to say to each other anymore. Letting go can be a steady process, but it doesn’t have to be a painful process filled with anger and resentment. It can be a process filled with love, grace and compassion. And how this is done is all up to you.

I’m mentioning this topic today not to make anyone feel bad, but because not many people are talking about it. We are living in this, sometimes fake and dishonest, reality we created ourselves, and this reality is pressuring everyone to accept and believe the fact that it’s okay to live this way when it clearly isn’t.

Enough of fake relationships, enough of dishonesty, enough of pretending. 

Try this:

If you feel it’s time to let go, sit quietly and take a few deep breaths to get centred. Then, ask yourself (your inner wisdom): ‘How can I let go of this person gracefully and without hurting them?’ The answer may come to you immediately or later. Be open and listen. And by listening, I mean being open to any intuitive message you receive, any signs and synchronicities. Then, every time you think of this person during the day, try to send them loving thoughts and see them as a fellow soul that came to this earth to learn, to grow, to experience whatever it needs to experience. They are also scared, unsure and uncertain of many things, just like you. Be compassionate towards them and let them go steadily and gracefully. Forgive them and wish them well on the next part of their journey. This relationships has served its purpose and it’s okay to let go, without any hard feelings.


Jenny, a girl who ‘has it all’

Jenny is 35 and lives in London. She is single and working for a well known fashion magazine. She has a beautiful figure and a long blond hair. Her pretty wide green eyes reflect her wisdom and a kind nature. She sends out a vibe of a goddess, a mysterious energy that is very attractive.

On the outside, Jenny seems to have it all. She is stylish, beautiful, successful and admired by many, but on the inside she feels lonely, sometimes lost. Every time she falls in love with someone, she gets heart broken. People often get surprised when she tells them, she is single….always single. What keeps Jenny happy and fulfilled are her amazing hobbies.

She is taking acting classes three times a week. She is very serious about it and believes that one day she will becomes a movie star. She does an amateur acting in her local theatre too. It’s a friendly place full of nice people of all ages. One of the actors there is Gareth, a 34 years old Welsh architect who moved to London couple of years ago. Jenny has been secretly in love with him for a couple of months now. Sadly for Jenny, Gareth has been in a relationship with another woman. Jenny loves Gareth, but she is not ready to tell him how she feels. She wants him to be happy. His relationship with the other woman seems serious. Jenny often says: “You can’t really choose who you fall in love with? It just happens.” Jenny wouldn’t want to interfere and break this relationship, so she suffers in silence, keeping all her emotions inside. Unrequited love is something very familiar to Jenny. She has experienced it far too many times. Strange it may sound, but it feels good to be in love anyway. Maybe she is hoping deep within that this platonic love will one day turn into a real one and everything will be perfect. Miracles and magical surprises do happen and Jenny is a big believer of that.

Gareth and Jenny have a lot in common. They are both an aspiring actors, love adventures and adore all the work by Shakespeare. Recently, the whole theatre group visited Shakespeare land in Stratford-upon-Avon in England. They loved every moment of it. They tried on several shakespeare-an costumes and even played Romeo and Juliet while there. And guess who was Romeo and who Juliet….? No surprise then.

Jenny often cries. A good romantic film, an inspiring book, someone who touches her heart…she gets really emotional. She doesn’t mind it. Crying often washes away her sorrows and she feels better afterwards. One time a psychic told her, that she is an old soul who feels people’s pain and emotions, and it’s very sensitive to them. When she cries she lets the emotions she absorbed from others out.

At times, life can be monotonous for Jenny. Work, home, study, sleep, then work again. Even tough she likes her job, lately it became more of a routine and she is ready for a shift in her career. Recently, an interesting audition came up for Jenny and she has done a great job at it. She is currently waiting for a decision to be made whether she will get a role at a film with a brilliant prospects. That could be her big break. She feels excited and nervous at the same time.

Today, was a big day, as Jenny made a decision to tell Gareth how she feels about him. This wasn’t an easy task, but after listing many reasons why she shouldn’t, she has found one why she should tell him. She deserves true happiness and holding on to something which she may only be wondering about isn’t healthy. She faced her fear and approach Gareth to tell him how she felt. To cut long story short, Gareth very gently revealed to Jenny that he has just got engaged. Jenny gave him a hug and said that she was genuinely happy for him with tears in her eyes. Of course, she wants him to be happy. When you truly love someone, you want the best for them even though it’s not in your favour. Gareth didn’t like to see Jenny upset like this, but there was nothing else he could do. His heart belongs to someone else.

Jenny, being so familiar with the feeling of a broken heart went home and cried all night. Tears always wash away her pain and her sorrow, and after a while this allows her to see clearly again. The following morning she remembered a past memory when she travelled across the world to take a leap of faith to visit someone she met on the internet. She really liked this person and wanted to know if it was real. This actually happened twice in Jenny’s life. Jenny falls in love easily, but yet again the love was only platonic and unrequited. One time, she travelled all the way to New Zealand, the other time to Hawaii, only to find out these guys didn’t feel as she was. She felt distraught for a while, but as time progressed her wounds have been healed. Jenny pulled herself together as she always does. Remembering these stories gave Jenny a hope. She realised, that no matter what, she will be okay and will get over Gareth too. She also knows, why her previous relationships didn’t work out. She always notices the lessons she learns from any experience and recognises the great wisdom behind them.

A week later, something exciting happened. Jenny has just landed her first major role in a big film she auditioned for. Even tough she is heartbroken and still thinks about Gareth, she is happy and ready to focus on her promising acting career. They want her to start in a couple of months. It will be an every day job for some time. Jenny has given a notice at her present job in the magazine. She has been ready to do that for a while now. After all, acting is her passion and that’s what she wants to be focusing on.

Despite her romantic misfortunes, Jenny will continue flying high and keep radiating her goddess-like energy everywhere she goes. She knows this energy has also brought her the role in the film and will make her a big star. She knows this already without needing other people’s or the world’s validation. She is strong, independent and she understands that even though things sometimes don’t work out exactly as she would like them to, there is something magical always waiting for her around the corner. Jenny knows life is an exciting adventure, which should be celebrated in her own special way and for this wonderful gift from the Universe she will always be grateful.

~A short story by Jana Prackova 


Are your past relationships still haunting you?

Past relationships can often be a difficult topic to talk about, especially the ones that have caused us hurt or disappointment. People often don’t realise, when they don’t heal from a past relationship and jump straight to a new one, they may be carrying an unhealed energy to the new relationship. I am not saying you may not be ready for a new relationship straight away. I understand that everyone  is different. We are all on a different stage of this journey, but I also believe, we need some time to accept what happened, forgive and most importantly heal the past wounds. Bringing unhealed and unresolved energies to a new relationship can be unhealthy and also unfair. This week’s blog is about how to let go and move on with grace. Hope the suggestions bellow will inspire you.

Take responsibility for your part

This also applies, if you are the one who has been hurt. That’s right. Don’t stay in the victim zone. On some level, you have attracted this relationship into your life. You’ve made certain choices, said things, done things you may not even be proud of and you should own them. I have been hurt in some of my previous relationships and it took me time to let them go and take responsibility for my part. Now, I see things differently. This is a huge step in letting go and healing your past wounds. There are no mistakes, only lessons. I am grateful for all of my past relationships. I can say that confidently now, because they helped me grow and evolve personally and spiritually.

Forgiveness

Once you take responsibility for your part, it’s time to move on to forgiveness. This can be tough, but it is crucial. People carry so much resentment towards former relationships. Some may be full of anger just by thinking about the other person. Remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean to agree what the other person did to you. Forgiveness means to set yourself free. Forgiving someone means you are not giving the other person the power to control your life anymore. Forgiving could be one of the hardest things you would ever do, but it could be one of the best gifts you give to yourself and to others.

How to forgive

When you make a decision to forgive, it becomes the first step to your liberation. Then, we can move to something which we call in spiritual circles a Cord cutting. Every time we enter a new relationship, an energetic cord is attached. It is an etheric, invisible cord that is attached to you and the other person. This doesn’t mean is good or bad. When you are ready to let go and move on with your life, it’s important to cut this cord. Cord cutting is a powerful tool that can serve you in many incredible ways. I use it every time I need to forgive someone. This applies to any relationship (romantic, business, friendships….). Carry on reading to find out how. The exercise in the next paragraph can be life-transforming for you.

Cord Cutting Meditation

Find a comfortable place where you are not going to be disturbed for a few minutes (let’s say for about 10 minutes or so). Close your eyes to avoid any visual distractions. Take a long, deep, cleansing breath in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth. Repeat this cycle of breathing for about 3-5 rounds until you get centred and more relaxed. Now, I would like to visualise the person you are willing to forgive standing in front of you. Look at this person and say to them either silently or aloud: “I’m willing to forgive you” Visualise an energetic cord connecting you with this person. Where do you see it? Is the connected to your chest, to your stomach, to your throat? See it clearly in your mind’s eye. Also see this cord attached to the other person. Now, I would like to visualise that you are holding a magical sword that is going to cut this cord with one swift cut, until it falls on the ground. If you are not able to see the cord being cut the first time, keep trying. I had many experiences, when I couldn’t cut the energetic cord straight away. It took me a few tries (even few meditations like this). Don’t be hard on yourself. Once it’s cut, see this cord falling onto the ground and dissolving any pain and struggles you have been holding onto. Visualise any resentment or anger towards this person dissolving. Take another few long deep breaths in and out. When you are ready, open your eyes and take your time getting back to your day. Have a glass of water to cleanse your body. You have just given yourself a wonderful gift. The gift of forgiveness. Do this exercise as many times as is needed.

Lessons learned

Keep in mind that relationships are teaching you some great lessons, which are helping you on your personal and spiritual growth. Ask yourself: What can I learn form this experience? The answer may come to you straight away or in time. Focus on the present moment as much as possible and when you notice your mind wandering to the thoughts of anger or resentment, pause and take a deep breath and ask yourself: Where am I? You are right here, right now in this moment and that’s the only place where your power lies and the real life exists.

I will leave you with a powerful quote by Mother Teresa:

“If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive” ~Mother Teresa