Ever since I can remember, I have been afraid of standing up for myself. I often said yes when I meant no, just to please others. I would go out of my way doing favours for other people, so they wouldn’t get upset with me, even though I knew they wouldn’t do the same for me. I didn’t know what being assertive meant and thought of myself as inferior and worthless. All I was striving for was to be liked, accepted and have friends. With that, came lots of advantage-taking and emotional pain. I had no boundaries and this caused me so much inner suffering.
In terms of speaking up, this was a huge deal for me. I must admit, I still detour into this place more than you may think. Picking up the phone and deal with something that can’t be resolved any other way, making a complaint at a department store which I have a full right to make can still be a big challenge for me. Why? I’m still afraid. I still haven’t healed myself fully, my past fears and feelings of inadequacy. That’s the truth.
Most people who don’t know me think I’m very confident. In my case, confidence is a learned skill. By making this statement I don’t mean I’m faking it or I’m pretending to be someone I’m not. I’ve passed that stage. What I mean, however, is that we live in a tough world, and learning to be tough and becoming more confident is a necessity, especially for us introverts. On the other hand, I am very confident in my ideas and beliefs, and I’m so happy this comes to me naturally.
The year 2010 was a year of big changes for me when my inner transformation truly began. Little did that I know at the time, it will take years to shed off many old energies and unlearning bad habits which caused me so much pain and anxiety. I’m still working on it, but the transformation I am seeing is incredible. I’m learning to speak up more and fear the world less. I’m learning to stand in my power and be the person I truly am without pretending or trying to impress anyone. It’s not always an easy process, but I am willing to be a life long student if I must.
Why am I sharing all this with you today?
- To help you be your authentic self while you are working on bettering yourself
- To give you permission to step out of your own comfort zone, so you can start becoming the person you truly are
- To help you release the blocks that have been holding you back and step into your truth, fully
- To help you accept that it is okay to disappoint people when their requests don’t resonate with your truth
- To help you let go of old beliefs and labels others may have placed on you and you so deeply accepted