A week ago, I sat in the garden with my parents. We talked about many things. The topic of childhood came up. My parents and I discussed the good and the not-so-good memories we had. Mentioning one particular experience made me very emotional. I visited that old memory to such an extent I burst into tears. I haven’t cried in front of my mum and dad for years. I wasn’t embarrassed, on the contrary, I felt relieved and comforted while surrounded by loved ones.
All through my childhood and teenage years I’ve been bullied, made fun of, laugh at or called names. I am not mentioning this to complain about it; I am writing about it because I want to help you turn your own struggles to your advantage. It is not my intention to go into much detail, but let’s say, there were some kids in the village I grew up who would pick on me on a daily basis. Why me? I wasn’t sure exactly. I was very quiet and shy, and some kids, like the bullies I was surrounded by, are always ready to attack the ones who don’t know how to stand up for themselves. The days of my childhood and teenage years were some of the darkest days of my life. Now, I have a different outlook on it all. They made me stronger as an adult.
What did I gain from this experience?
I learnt to stand up for myself
I learnt to speak up for myself (but still have much to learn in this category)
I learnt to be proud of who I am
I learnt to put my needs first
I worked on myself very hard and I can confidently say I’m doing well in life
I achieved many incredible things
I learnt to be a strong and independent woman
If you had been bullied as a child or going through a similar experience right now, I can fully relate. Please know, that you have so much power and so much wisdom within you to rise above any challenge you face. First of all, don’t keep it to yourself. Talk to someone about it. There are so many loving and caring people and organisations who would be able to help. When I was bullied, at first, I was afraid to tell my parents. Later, it got so far, I had to. Their support helped me enormously. Don’t wait and also know this: Bullies, whether you encounter them at school, on social media or at work, are insecure individuals who need to pick on others to be seen as powerful. The truth is, there are the weak ones. They are unconsciously showing their weakness by making fun of someone else. They are the ones who are searching for love, support and attention and feel lost.
A thought to keep
‘When you re-visit the painful experiences of your past, the pain may still be present and you may feel emotional. This is only natural. When you rise above them and choose to view them from a higher perspective, a tremendous healing can take place. Suddenly you are not the victim anymore; you are the survivor, the one who won.’ ~Jana Prackova
We all have some people in our lives who drain us of energy. The friends that always complain, the people that have nothing positive to say. For years and years, they have similar stories about how victimised they feel and how difficult life is. When you get off the phone with them, you feel exhausted. You feel that so much energy has just been sucked out of you. Do you keep in touch with certain people just to be nice? Well, all of the above are huge signals it’s time to let go. But letting go doesn’t always mean to say goodbye for good. It can mean to keep some form of contact. I know you care about your friends and you don’t want to hurt anyone. You want the best for your friends, but sometimes letting go would be the best choice. The truth is, we sometimes outgrow some people and that’s perfectly okay. So is it time to re-evaluate your relationships? If so, read on.
Let’s face it, some people need to go. They came into your life for a few years, but the relationship/friendship has served its purpose now. I am not suggesting to be cruel. You can still let those people go with grace and love and without feeling guilty. This is an act of self-love towards yourself. Self-love should be your number one priority. Secondly, you don’t have to close the doors completely. What you can you do is to minimise contact with these people. Just check-in with them occasionally. I know you still care about them because you are a good and loving friend, but for your own wellbeing, you need to keep distance and protect your energy.
You are always Number ONE
I learnt this the hard way being a recovering people-pleaser. I sometimes still de-tour and find myself on this path, but luckily I soon realise, this is not doing me or the other person any favour. Taking care of yourself and your energy by letting go of the unhealthy and draining relationships is crucial to your wellbeing. You want to feel well and good and you owe it to yourself. Your time here on Earth is limited. Whey waste it by investing your precious energy into something that doesn’t make you feel good.
Do yourself a favour and don’t try to hold on to relationships that no longer serve you. Let them go, be kind and truthful to yourself and others. We often hold on to something for too long. It is not good for yourself or the other person. Let them go, so they can be who they came here to be and find the right people to spend time with. The same applies to you. Don’t waste yours or their time.
Forgive them for YOU
We are all on a different stage of this journey called life. You are on your path and they are on theirs. Some people stay in your life for a lifetime, others have shorter roles to play. Forgive them, let them go and move on. Make a space for the healthy and more fulfilling friendships and relationships.
A thought to keep
“When you are brave enough to let go of what is no longer serving you, your energy will start re-arranging and will create space for what is really meant for you.” ~Jana Prackova
As some of you probably know, my little eBook, THE ART OF LIVING IN YOUR TRUTH,came out this February. I recently decided to record it as an Audiobook, and would like to share with you the Introduction. To request the full eBook (which is currently Free), please email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
I am very excited to share with you another episode of Mystic Butterfly Podcast. In this episode I talk about How to bring more peace into our lives. Meditation is a big part of my life, and I believe it is the number one key that can help us achieve that sense of peace and calm we are all longing for. Meditation can help us reduce stress, anxiety, and bring in more joy and creativity. Ever since I started meditating, I became happier, and I feel more at peace with myself and the world that surrounds me. I see inspiration everywhere I go, and life became much more fun for me. If you are new to meditation, please check out this page on my website: http://www.mysticbutterfly.co.uk/meditation/ On this page, I explain meditation in more detail, and you can also find some of my guided meditations there. So, are you ready to listen to the new podcast? Fantastic! I am excited for you, because I have a lot to share with you. So, make yourself comfortable, and let’s talk about how to bring more peace into our lives.
Last week, I taught a class about the art of living in your truth. My students and I were discussing how much our deeply rooted limiting beliefs, often acquired in childhood, can still control our adult lives. We accepted many labels, which unfortunately, became part of our identity. As we journey through life, we get so used to denying our truth and many of us become ashamed of our vulnerability. We want to look good in the eyes of others, so we pretend. Nicole Lyons said: ‘The deepest pain I ever felt was denying my own feelings to make everyone else comfortable.’ I can’t agree more. I have been there far too many times and these words are speaking to me directly, as I’m working through some deeply rooted wounds myself these days. Denying our truth can bring many dark thoughts and emotions up to the surface. You deserve to feel good and you deserve to start experiencing a beautiful transformation and healing. I would like to share with you couple of ways how I deal with these kind of thoughts and emotions. These tips are serving me well and I believe they can inspire you.
The beauty of acceptance
I used to suffer from anxiety. I wasn’t anxious just once in a while or had an occasional panic attack. The kind of anxiety I experienced, wasn’t going away and was with me 24/7. The only time I wasn’t aware of it, was when I was asleep. After about 4 years of trying just about everything to heal myself, I learnt to live with it. I made a choice of accepting it. Little did I know at the time, this was my saviour and the catalyst of an amazing change. What I discovered, was accepting and co-operating with the dark thoughts I was experiencing, instead of pushing them away began to liberate me. Slowly, but surely I began experiencing a fleeting moments of joy coming into my life. I started noticing beauty around me, by being more engaged in the present moment. I began acknowledging and being grateful for any good moment in my life, despite my thoughts and emotions being unpleasant 95% of the time. Whether I experienced just a five minutes of peace, I was thankful. If that was all I had that day, I was okay with it. In time, minutes became hours, hours became days. I remember so clearly, when I could say: ‘Today was a good day.’ I will always remember and treasure that moment. Resisting dark thoughts didn’t help. When I was fighting them, it felt like I was fighting part of myself. On the contrary, accepting them and opening my heart and mind to focus on the good around me worked beautifully. Appreciate the moments when you are happy, no matter how brief they may be. What you focus on, always expands. During the darkest times of my life, I learnt the beauty of acceptance. Every time I have an unpleasant thoughts, I don’t try to fight them or quickly fix them, instead, I accept them and go with the flow. Then, I focus on what I’m thankful for and watch my energy shift.
When suppressed emotions come up to the surface
I don’t like complaining. I often deal with any unpleasant emotions on my own. This is what we introverts do. But, ever since I stepped on the path of healing my past wounds I learnt, that sharing with others how I feel, instead of pretending that all is okay, can be incredibly therapeutic. Many of us suppress our emotions. When I used to deal with an anxiety attacks, I became very good at hiding my feelings, especially in front of my work colleagues or at any public gatherings. At the time, I didn’t realise, how much damage I was actually causing to my entire being. Then one day, somebody made a comment, which probably didn’t seem like a big deal to the person or any external observer, but hurt me so deeply, I bursted into tears. This is what suppressed emotions did to me. We suppress and pretend, and then one day somebody says something and we break down.
How I deal with suppressed emotions
Many of us suppress emotions with distractions such as alcohol, over-working, needy relationships, drugs, social media or hiding behind false masks. I decided not to do that to myself anymore. Instead, I feel my emotions. I feel what’s coming up for me and talk to the emotion. I ask: ‘What are you trying to tell me? What are you trying to teach me? What am I unwilling to let go of?’ I also write. Writing is extremely therapeutic and can help you release many unpleasant feelings. Express yourself on a page of your diary. It’s yours and you can tell it exactly how you feel, without editing yourself. Another way I deal with my emotions is by meditating. I sit with my feelings, observe what is going on and I do this without judgement. If you are new to meditation and would like to find out more, I dedicated a whole page of my website to it: http://www.mysticbutterfly.co.uk/meditation/ I also strongly suggest to speak to someone. Talk to a close friend and share how you feel. If you feel like your emotions are getting out of control, please talk to a professional. I used to see a fantastic counsellor. She was extremely supportive and helped me to work through many of my issues. After every session I felt an incredible relief.
Be gentle with yourself
Only you can decide, whether you want to be holding on to the darkness or you are willing to rise above it and finally let it go. When you begin, don’t be hard on yourself and expect things to change overnight. It took you a while to gather all these unpleasant emotions, so it won’t take one day to let them all ago. It is okay to be vulnerable. That is where your strength lies. Be patient with yourself and most importantly, accept yourself for who you are. That is the first step to start living a better life and experience transformation and healing.
‘One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming’
I recently moved to a new place. What an exciting time. I wanted to do this for a long time, and here, I finally am, in a cosy, little apartment and I’m loving it. But I must admit, the initial move wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I’ve been learning many new things I had no idea about before, an unexpected expenses were surprising me almost weekly, and quite a few things didn’t go exactly as I planned them to. But on the other hand, many beautiful blessings presented themselves to me in the midst of what seemed like a bit of chaos. When things go repeatedly wrong in our lives, we may start wondering whether we are on the right path. We may question our decisions, feel lost, even powerless. Running away and planning a quick escape, rather than facing the unknown can seem like the easiest choice. I’ve been there. In the midst of my own challenges in the last couple of months, my energy has been up and down. One moment I was excited about the present and the future ahead of me, the next moment, I was faced with another burden. Luckily, I remembered that at times like these, there is no other way, than coming home to my true self. I know, I needed to still my mind and listen to the wisdom of my soul. My soul never lets me down. It’s only when I try to control, try to get in the way, or make decisions based on my ego rather than my intuition,things get chaotic. When I’m aligned with my truth, I am fully aware that my outside world is a reflection of my internal state. I fully understand, that what I focus on always expands and what I send out will always get back to me. It took me a little while to remember (after detouring to a place of lack and control for a few weeks), but once I did, I felt empowered.
What happened last week…
Last week, a light, finally brightened up my life after facing this challenging season. At first, it seemed like another obstacle just arised, but I’m pleased to say, a few wonderful blessings followed soon after. I was looking forward to finally have my broadband installed in the new flat. I spent almost all of my mobile phone data already and was ready for the WiFi connection. I got so excited when my broadband package arrived. It seemed like an easy ‘do it yourself’ installation, so I got to work. For some reasons, which I won’t go into now, I wasn’t able to connect it. I got on the phone to my broadband provider within minutes. The agent on the line was very helpful, and scheduled a date for an engineer to come and sort it out for me. I was grateful, but sadly, this solution didn’t get me online within the next five minutes. I thanked the agent for his help, said goodbye and put the phone down. At that point, I’ve had enough. Remembering all these things going wrong for me in the last couple of months, everything I had to face, all the money I had paid and also wasted….in that moment, I bursted into tears. All I wanted was to get on the plane and fly home to my parents, where I always feel safe and everything is taken care of. There, I can forget about all the usual worries that come with an adulthood. Sounds a little childish hmmm….I thought so too.
The turning point
After spending about half an hour feeling sorry for myself, a light suddenly floated into my reality. My soul’s wisdom stepped in and remembered my truth. A sense of peace and calm surrounded my entire being. I was guided to breathe slowly, and I still my clouded mind. I remembered that I am in charge, and I alway have a choice. I have a choice how I want to perceive what is going on right now. I realised, that the Universe is not punishing me. The Universe is giving me an opportunity to learn another lesson. I realised, I can either give up and hold on to the anger, or I can find a blessing in all these inconveniences. I chose the latter.
The blessings in disguise
Looking at my life from a higher perspective always works magic. This way, I allow my soul to lead the way. The experience of not having a home WiFi for a while was a huge blessing for many reasons. I managed to read quite a few books, which I wouldn’t do otherwise. I also meditated and prayed more than ever before, instead of browsing the internet. Having all the unexpended expenses taught me to monitor my finances more regularly, and stop paying for the things and services I don’t really need anymore. I had a closer look at what was going with my finances and this was a huge learning for me. By moving to the new flat, I also learn so many things I had no idea about before. Even though I had to learn some of them the hard way, I am grateful that I did. All of this made me wiser and educated me about things I didn’t understand before.
You are a soul with a free will. You are making choices as you journey through this life. In truth, you are a multi-dimensional being and you are always supported by many seen and unseen forces that surround you. The three-dimensional reality you exist in at the moment, can seem like a very controlling place to live. This is your perception of it. It is a perception you are currently experiencing by your five physical senses. You are pressured by time and space. Living in this three-dimensional reality isn’t easy, but after all, it is exciting and incredibly beautiful. There is a reason why you have incarnated to the Earth and currently expressing yourself as a human being. Your beautiful soul longs for experiences. It wants to know, what it feels like to be a human, to live in this world and to experience everything that comes with it. It wants to learn new things, even though it’s hard at times. If this sounds a bit alien to you, don’t worry please. It can sometimes be difficult to put the soul’s language into words. But, if some of the above resonates with you and you are sensing any familiarity, please carry on reading. I want you to know, that you are a powerful soul, an incredible creator, and you should start being aware of your wisdom now.
When I joined the crowd….
Ever since I can remember, I had troubles fitting in to this reality. School, work, any social gathering, I was out of my comfort zone. I always had to make an extra effort to fit in. This wasn’t natural to me. I felt, I needed to force myself and let go of the truth of who I really am to join in. I had difficulty understanding and adjusting to the rules this world was presenting me. At school, the kids often made fun of me, telling me I was odd and stupid. I figured, that perhaps, there must be something wrong with me. I thought, I wasn’t good enough being myself. Since then, I would do anything, to be like everybody else. Copying others, pretending I was somebody who I wasn’t, just to be accepted by this society was controlling my daily life. I joined the crowd, because I longed to be accepted and popular. In my early twenties, I realised, that living this way won’t work. It was painful, I was unhappy, confused and under constant pressure. I became very tired of it. Fortunately, my soul saved me from it. Well, at the time it actually didn’t look like a saviour to me, it rather seemed like a more struggle and darkness just entered my already painful life. The feelings of my denial exploded to one of the most challenging periods of my life. Many years of severe anxiety, living in every day worry whether I will survive today (literally) were ruling my life and haunting my daily existence. It was terrifying, uncomfortable and it felt like a nightmare with no ending in sight. I tried almost everything to help myself. Regular check ups at doctors, counselling, throwing myself into situations I was afraid of (thinking this way I will overcome my fears), I would basically try anything that would get me out of that storm. Unfortunately, nothing and nobody was able to help me. I knew something had to change and change very soon.
A magical shift
One day, I was sitting in my living room obsessing about something, yet again, when something very unusual happened. I’ve heard a whisper, an inner voice saying to me: Acceptance! It was loud, it was clear, but at the same time very calming and loving. I recognised this voice from my childhood. I couldn’t deny it. I made a decision that day to accept the unpleasant feelings I was experiencing up to this point and stop pushing them away. I said to myself: If I have to feel like this for the rest of my life, so be it. A sense of liberation lightly touched my body and my very tired soul. I began to accept how I was feeling, instead of denying these unpleasant emotions. They were part of me and as they were part of me, I needed to learn how to co-operate with them, rather than push them away. Since that day, things started to change, of course on a very small scale. Slowly, but surely, I began feeling better. I realised, that my power actually lies within my truth and not in trying to be somebody I wasn’t. I stopped denying my authenticity. The desire of pleasing others began to fade away. I started remembering who I really am and by doing so, my soul’s voice got louder and clearer again, exactly the way it’s been when I was a child. The right people who were supposed to share this journey with me stayed on it. Others, were led away from me, and some, which are not meant to be on my path are still drifting away as I write these lines. I don’t force anyone to stay anymore. I’m letting go of the controlling attitude. I believe there is a divine reason behind everything we encounter in life, and it is unfolding as it should. I trust and know. I realised, being true to myself will naturally bring the right people to me.
Be you, that’s where your power lies
You are like nobody else. In some mystical-cosmic way you already know this. On a deeper level, you are aware, that you are so much more than you think you are. Growing up, you may have been perceived as a weird kid, maybe you didn’t have many friends and others were avoiding you. You might have been bullied, laughed at or called names. This used to be the story of my life. But, when I look back, I wouldn’t change any of those experiences. Yes, it was tough and it was overwhelming at times, but those experiences shaped me to who I am today and continuously doing so. They made me stronger, wiser and proud of who I am. After all, my soul has chosen this path and I am grateful for it. In my adult life, I began creating a reality that works for me. It’s fun and it works. Even though, there are many things in this world I don’t agree with, find difficult to deal with and would like to change, I try to rise above them. Following my soul’s voice is my every day saviour. When I get still, in that solitude I find my strength and I am reminded of my truth. Listen to that wisdom, the wisdom of your own soul, which is here to guide you and help you realise the true nature of your being. Be proud of you, beautiful soul.
Jenny is 35 and lives in London. She is single and working for a well known fashion magazine. She has a beautiful figure and a long blond hair. Her pretty wide green eyes reflect her wisdom and a kind nature. She sends out a vibe of a goddess, a mysterious energy that is very attractive.
On the outside, Jenny seems to have it all. She is stylish, beautiful, successful and admired by many, but on the inside she feels lonely, sometimes lost. Every time she falls in love with someone, she gets heart broken. People often get surprised when she tells them, she is single….always single. What keeps Jenny happy and fulfilled are her amazing hobbies.
She is taking acting classes three times a week. She is very serious about it and believes that one day she will becomes a movie star. She does an amateur acting in her local theatre too. It’s a friendly place full of nice people of all ages. One of the actors there is Gareth, a 34 years old Welsh architect who moved to London couple of years ago. Jenny has been secretly in love with him for a couple of months now. Sadly for Jenny, Gareth has been in a relationship with another woman. Jenny loves Gareth, but she is not ready to tell him how she feels. She wants him to be happy. His relationship with the other woman seems serious. Jenny often says: “You can’t really choose who you fall in love with? It just happens.” Jenny wouldn’t want to interfere and break this relationship, so she suffers in silence, keeping all her emotions inside. Unrequited love is something very familiar to Jenny. She has experienced it far too many times. Strange it may sound, but it feels good to be in love anyway. Maybe she is hoping deep within that this platonic love will one day turn into a real one and everything will be perfect. Miracles and magical surprises do happen and Jenny is a big believer of that.
Gareth and Jenny have a lot in common. They are both an aspiring actors, love adventures and adore all the work by Shakespeare. Recently, the whole theatre group visited Shakespeare land in Stratford-upon-Avon in England. They loved every moment of it. They tried on several shakespeare-an costumes and even played Romeo and Juliet while there. And guess who was Romeo and who Juliet….? No surprise then.
Jenny often cries. A good romantic film, an inspiring book, someone who touches her heart…she gets really emotional. She doesn’t mind it. Crying often washes away her sorrows and she feels better afterwards. One time a psychic told her, that she is an old soul who feels people’s pain and emotions, and it’s very sensitive to them. When she cries she lets the emotions she absorbed from others out.
At times, life can be monotonous for Jenny. Work, home, study, sleep, then work again. Even tough she likes her job, lately it became more of a routine and she is ready for a shift in her career. Recently, an interesting audition came up for Jenny and she has done a great job at it. She is currently waiting for a decision to be made whether she will get a role at a film with a brilliant prospects. That could be her big break. She feels excited and nervous at the same time.
Today, was a big day, as Jenny made a decision to tell Gareth how she feels about him. This wasn’t an easy task, but after listing many reasons why she shouldn’t, she has found one why she should tell him. She deserves true happiness and holding on to something which she may only be wondering about isn’t healthy. She faced her fear and approach Gareth to tell him how she felt. To cut long story short, Gareth very gently revealed to Jenny that he has just got engaged. Jenny gave him a hug and said that she was genuinely happy for him with tears in her eyes. Of course, she wants him to be happy. When you truly love someone, you want the best for them even though it’s not in your favour. Gareth didn’t like to see Jenny upset like this, but there was nothing else he could do. His heart belongs to someone else.
Jenny, being so familiar with the feeling of a broken heart went home and cried all night. Tears always wash away her pain and her sorrow, and after a while this allows her to see clearly again. The following morning she remembered a past memory when she travelled across the world to take a leap of faith to visit someone she met on the internet. She really liked this person and wanted to know if it was real. This actually happened twice in Jenny’s life. Jenny falls in love easily, but yet again the love was only platonic and unrequited. One time, she travelled all the way to New Zealand, the other time to Hawaii, only to find out these guys didn’t feel as she was. She felt distraught for a while, but as time progressed her wounds have been healed. Jenny pulled herself together as she always does. Remembering these stories gave Jenny a hope. She realised, that no matter what, she will be okay and will get over Gareth too. She also knows, why her previous relationships didn’t work out. She always notices the lessons she learns from any experience and recognises the great wisdom behind them.
A week later, something exciting happened. Jenny has just landed her first major role in a big film she auditioned for. Even tough she is heartbroken and still thinks about Gareth, she is happy and ready to focus on her promising acting career. They want her to start in a couple of months. It will be an every day job for some time. Jenny has given a notice at her present job in the magazine. She has been ready to do that for a while now. After all, acting is her passion and that’s what she wants to be focusing on.
Despite her romantic misfortunes, Jenny will continue flying high and keep radiating her goddess-like energy everywhere she goes. She knows this energy has also brought her the role in the film and will make her a big star. She knows this already without needing other people’s or the world’s validation. She is strong, independent and she understands that even though things sometimes don’t work out exactly as she would like them to, there is something magical always waiting for her around the corner. Jenny knows life is an exciting adventure, which should be celebrated in her own special way and for this wonderful gift from the Universe she will always be grateful.