Dealing with situations ‘out of your control’

Recently, I’ve been dealing with a situation when someone had to sort something out on my behalf. I had no control over it and all I could do was wait. During that time, the communication from the other party was quite poor and I was getting very frustrated with the lack of update. At the end of each week that had passed I kept calling or sending them emails, trying to find out what is going on. I could not see what could be taking them so long. To me, the issue didn’t seem that hard to resolve. I felt they were putting it aside and not treating it as important.

We all have examples in our lives when somebody else has to deal with something on our behalf. They can be some professional people who are, e.g. issuing a contract for our new accommodation or someone responding to our request by email or returning a phone call with an important information. We trust these people and expect them to get back to us ASAP, and if they don’t have any answers yet, at least keep us updated on the progress of the situation. Updating someone makes us and our requests important and more at ease.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work that way. We all have certain expectations and if these expectations aren’t fulfilled, we feel disappointed. When you have to keep reminding someone over and over again the same thing, it can feel quite frustrating. If you are someone like me, I’m sure you can relate. When I wait for someone to get back to me, I always think how I would deal with the request. I know, I don’t like to keep people waiting. I respond to them as quickly as I possibly can, making them feel valuable and their requests important. If you are someone like me, and you are an empath, you can easily put yourself into other people’s shoes and understand how frustrating it can feel to wait for a response for ages or being completely ignored. But I also understand, not everyone is an empath or has a similar outlook on life. I know I can’t compare everyone to myself or to the people on my wave length. That’s something I’m learning to accept more and more.

But let’s go back to the situation I’ve described above. In the end, I’ve decided to let go. I’ve cut an invisible cord (in my mind) between myself and the institution, and made a peace with them getting back to me when they were ready. As soon as I’ve done so, things begin to speed up and the situation got sorted out very soon.

I’d like you to understand that if something like this occurs in your life, first of all, it isn’t your fault. It’s simply someone else’s failing. People know exactly what to do. Unfortunately, not everyone is doing their job properly or taking it seriously. There are all sorts of people in the world. Some people go to their jobs very de-motivated and only deal with what they really have to on the day. Most of the people are unwilling to put themselves into someone else’s shoes and understand how they may feel.

I’ve learned to accept that I have no control over other people’s actions at all. What I have control over, however, is how I view and respond to the situations I’m presented with. The important thing is I know who I am and how I would deal with similar situations and how would my actions make other people feel.


How do I relax?

Do you find challenging to switch off and just relax? Do you find it difficult, because your mind is always wandering from one place to another?

I must admit, I sometimes have a problem in this area. And this is mainly because I love what I do. I love inspiring people by writing, teaching and always thinking about the next thing I could create. But I’m also a recovering over-thinker, and I sometimes still over-analyse every single detail of everything. I don’t always find so easy to switch off and take time off. At the same time, I understand how important it is to take that time off and how I feel after I do.

When I get out of the busyness and finally slow down and eventually relax, I feel lighter and I feel I can see more clearly and breathe more easily. I feel as if so much weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel at peace with myself and the world that surrounds me.

In a few days, 15th August, is a National Relaxation Day, and this has inspired today’s post, where I’d like to emphasise how important it is to reserve some time for relaxation, whenever’s possible. I’d like to share with you a few relaxation techniques I find helpful.

1) Just Be

I know this can be easier said than done, but see if you can give it a go. Once a day, whenever you find a moment, take some time out and simply be. Do nothing. Just look out of the window for a few minutes and just be. Notice what is going on outside and be present in the moment. I love this little exercise. It always help me clear my mind of any unwanted thoughts and makes me relaxed.

2) Zone Out

What kind of music do you like? Zone out by putting on your favourite tune. This is very therapeutic and incredibly relaxing. So next time, when you need some time out, plug-in, close your eyes and listen to your favourite music, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

3) Breathe Deeply

When we are busy or stressed out, we forget to breathe properly. Breathing correctly is so important and very powerful. Try this: pause several times a day and close your eyes. Then, take a long, conscious breath and breathe out (slowly and deeply). Repeat this for about 3-5 rounds, then open your eyes and notice how you feel. I find this exercise very empowering and extremely relaxing.

I hope these few tips have inspired you. 
Jana x 

Are you a past traveller?

Your past does not define you. The mistakes you’ve made in the past do not define who you are. You are not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, not even ten minutes ago. Neither your past experiences define you. They are just your teachers on this journey called life. You are always learning, growing, expanding and that’s the beauty of life.

I’d like to ask you a question: ‘Are you a frequent past traveller?’

In my first book, Mystic Butterfly – a guide to your true self, I have a section in one of the chapters, where I ask my readers, whether they’d consider themselves to be a frequent past travellers or a future travellers? I ask this question, so they can begin to notice, where their mind wanders the most: the past or the future? And this is not a place for judgment, no matter what the answer is. It is simply to acknowledge, where they currently are.

Today, I’d like to focus on past travelling. So, if you are one of the people who often travels back to the past, carry on reading. This post is for you.

So many people travel back to the past. Travelling back to the past isn’t necessarily a bad thing, if you are thinking about some great memories and also about the lessons you’ve learned from your past experiences. However, travelling back to the past, on a frequent basis, can become a problem when you are visiting some painful experiences over and over again, when you are resenting them and they may still be controlling your life.

If you have ever been in therapy, you know that talking about past can feel painful at first, but going deeper and recognising what triggers you, while working through your past experiences, can be very healing and transformational. That’s why therapy is so helpful.

I am a recovering past traveller, a very frequent one. I still travel back to the past, of course, but when I do, I quickly realise, that past is a place of reference and not a place of residence. When I de-tour back to the past, I know I need to go home, I need to go back to the present, because that’s the only place where the true life exists.

Coming back from the past to the present isn’t always easy, but when you keep practising, it becomes easier. I have a useful technique, which never lets me know and I’d suggest you give it a go.

Whenever you notice your mind wandering back to some unpleasant past memory, take a deep breath and breathe out. Then, ask yourself: ‘Where am I?’ Then, respond to that question: I am right here in this moment. This is where my power lies. This is where I make the choice what I want to give my energy to. I choose to stay in the present.’  This exercise will allow you to re-connect with the present moment.

And here is one more: Meditation. Meditation allows you to deeply connect with the present moment- the only place where the true life exists. If you are new to meditation and would like learn more about it, check out this page on my website: https://www.mysticbutterfly.co.uk/meditation/  You’ll find there a step-by-step process how to meditate. There are also many of my guided meditations. Sit back, relax and let my voice be your guide.

I hope this post has inspired you and these two techniques will help you.

With love, 

Jana x 


3 reasons why ballet is amazing

One of my favourite interests in life is ballet dancing. I’ve been taking ballet lessons as a child, and returned back to it again as an adult a few years ago. Taking ballet classes brought so many incredible benefits into my life (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual).

These days I miss being in the ballet studio, but ever since the global pandemic hit, I’ve been ‘religiously’ attending ballet classes on Zoom every Thursday. Of course, this feels slightly different, compared to the studio classes, but the benefits I’ve been receiving have been equally wonderful.

Ballet teaches you so many things. It teaches you discipline, it helps your body posture, it teaches you to be fully focused and present in the moment, and it also teaches you be more patient with yourself, while learning and mastering new moves and techniques.

Today, I would like to talk about some of these benefits and I’ve picked three I’d like to focus on. And this doesn’t mean you only have to take ballet lessons to experience similar benefits. Absolutely not. You can choose any activity you like, which can help you feel great and it’s good for your mind, body and soul. And as a bonus, the benefits described below, can also help you create a healthy mind-set for achieving your goals.

1) Ballet teaches you to more present

When you are ballet dancing you have to be fully present and focused on what you are doing. The ballet moves require your full focus and participation. If you find your mind wandering, you can get easily lost and suddenly you are not keeping up with the music and the rest of the class. You have to be fully present in the moment. I find this extremely helpful, because my mind is very busy most of the time. When I’m in the class, however, I leave my worries and daily concerns aside, and fully focus on what I’m asked to do by my teacher, so I can experience the full benefits of the class.

2) Ballet teaches you to be more patient with yourself

Being patient in ballet is very important. You have to practise, practise, practise, and then practise some more to master the dance moves. This can be a hard work. It is in ballet I learned to be more patient with myself and stopped comparing myself to others. I stopped being so hard on myself and I accepted, that if I want to get better at it, I need to be more patient with myself while maintaining  a regular practice, which is extremely important.

3) Ballet teaches you to be disciplined

Another great thing I learned from my ballet lessons and ballet teachers is to be disciplined. As I mentioned above, you have to be patient with yourself, but that patience needs to be also supported by discipline. To be able to accomplish any dream, you have to have discipline. You have to practise regularly, you have to believe in yourself and you have to drop the excuses. When any obstacles arise, you take a deep breath and you keep practising.

So whether you choose ballet or any other physical activity, I hope you enjoy it, I hope it will make you feel good and it will bring many benefits into your life, including building a healthy mind-set for achieving your goals in life.


Summer break

At the beginning of the year, my family and I, started thinking about our 2020 summer holiday. We’ve agreed it would be great to go back to Croatia. We had a great time there last year. The people were very welcoming, the food was fantastic and the country is so beautiful.

We’ve been looking for while where to stay. We wanted to explore a different part of Croatia this time, so it took us a little while to do our search. But as we were getting closer to finalising and booking our trip, the world has been hit by the news of the global pandemic. Suddenly, there were other things think about and so many worries on our minds. We kept our holiday search aside.

A lot has happened since then, and the summer holiday break didn’t even crossed my mind, needless to say travelling anywhere. However, in the last few days, my boyfriend and I, have decided we’d love get together with the family for a few weeks, if possible of course, and also start exploring some new parts of the UK. That’s the current plan, which we’ll hopefully put into reality.

I’m so ready for a nice break, especially from this constant worrying, which doesn’t seem to be going away. I need to recharge, rejuvenate and zone out a bit. I’m also taking a little break from blogging for a few weeks.

If you are a Mystic Butterfly subscriber, my newsletter will be back in your inbox on 21st July. If you are not, and would like to become one, you can subscribe here: https://www.mysticbutterfly.co.uk In my newsletter, I share a weekly updates, news and helpful inspirational tools. I hope you can join us.

And if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me: jana@mysticbutterfly.co.uk

Until then, enjoy the Summer, stay safe and well,
Jana x 

An open forgiveness letter to myself & others

Ever since this COVID-19 crisis I’ve been noticing that people are getting easily triggered by each other. I feel that this mostly springs from all the uncertainty floating around, being surrounded by scary news and not knowing what’s around the corner. We are getting easily triggered by people on the internet, but also by people in the shops and in the streets (this is my observation). These triggers may come in a form of anger, resentment, judgement, comparison, misunderstandings….the list can go on.

I too have been getting triggered, more than ever lately. But last week, I had an idea which offered me some relief and helped me to released many unpleasant thoughts. I’ve decided to write an open forgiveness letter to myself and others. Writing this letter helped me feel lighter, it brought some clarity into my life, and it helped me understand, just a little, other people’s perspectives.

I’d like to share this letter with you today, with a hope, that it can perhaps inspire you to write your own. And of course, you don’t have to share your letter with anyone. It is only for you. I’m only sharing mine with you as an example.

Here it is:

An open forgiveness letter to myself and others, 

I forgive myself for not reaching out to my friends, when we all seemed to struggle and tried to navigate through the new normal, but I also forgive you, dear friends, for not reaching out to me when I needed you most. I forgive myself for judging others in my mind, while I was angry at the whole world and felt so lost and scared, but I also forgive others when I had a feeling they were doing the same to me. 

I forgive myself for giving others the impression that I was uncaring and selfish, but I also forgive them for giving that impression to me too. I forgive myself for making assumptions about others in my mind, but I also forgive them for making assumptions in their minds about me. 

I forgive myself for pretending to be strong when I felt unhappy, tired and sad, but I also forgive others for giving that impression to me, which made me compare myself to them and thinking that I’m a failure. I forgive myself for acting out of my unresolved traumas, but I also forgive others for acting out of their unresolved traumas too. 

I forgive myself for not being loving and compassionate towards myself, when I was struggling the most, but I also forgive others for not liking me, when I felt so alone, unappreciated and wanted to be acknowledged. I forgive myself for not supporting others when they needed me, but I also forgive them for not supporting me when I needed them. 

I forgive myself for not contacting some of my friends in the moments of this global crisis when I felt lost and uneasy, but I also forgive them for not contacting me too. I forgive myself for not being honest with myself and others when my world was falling apart, but I also forgive others for being dishonest too.

I forgive myself for being scared to speak my truth when I should’ve done, but I also forgive others for not speaking their truth too. I forgive myself for hurting others by the words I haven’t chosen carefully, but I also forgive them for unwittingly hurting me with their words too.

I forgive myself for sharing content with people, just because I wanted to be seen, but I also forgive them for posting content just because they wanted attention. I forgive myself for all the unwise choices I’ve made that might have affected others, but I also forgive others for the unwise choices they have made that have affected me. 

And finally, I forgive myself for being unkind to myself. I forgive myself for feeding my body unhealthy food. I forgive myself for spending too much time on my phone. I forgive myself for not exercising enough. I forgive myself for being too stuck in my head when all I needed was to go outside and breathe. I forgive myself for all that I have done to myself in these moments of uncertainty, when I felt unhappy and I suffered so much. And please, forgive yourself for that too. For these are all human emotions, reactions and all of them are perfectly natural, especially when we go through something challenging. 

I honour myself and my journey, and I honour yourself and your journey too. 

I forgive myself and I forgive you too. 

With love, 

Jana x 


Five simple ways to feel more joyful (PDF)

Our world has changed a lot in the last few months. The global crisis brought a lot of uncertainty into our daily lives and the normal way of living has changed practically overnight. We all have many questions and wonder: ‘How are we going to get back up?’ 

So much damage has been done, in so many areas of our lives, and it is perfectly understandable, that many of us, lost our zest for life. Therefore, I’ve decided to put together a few thoughts to help us find that zest, and to start feeling more joyful again. 

My hope and my intention for you, is to feel better, motivated again and find something positive in every single day.

You can download the PDF here: Five simple ways to feel more joyful

Stay safe and well,

Jana x


Being honest & transparent

I often ask myself: ‘How can I be more honest with myself and others?’ And the answer to that question is pretty simple: ‘By being my true self.’

But, what does it really mean to be our true, authentic self?

You see, the early years of our lives we get conditioned certain way. We are born into certain families, with certain beliefs, and most of the time, we accept these beliefs without questioning. These beliefs then become deeply planted into our subconscious and often become part of our identity. This gives us some sense of SELF. But, is this our true self or a false self? This is another one of the many deep questions.

As children, teenagers and in adolescence, we may copy others, thinking that what they do is cool. We want to feel liked and accepted. We want to fit in and get a sense of belonging. We think this may give us some recognition, so we mimic their behaviour, which they’ve probably picked up from someone else too.

As we go about life, we pick up more beliefs from the people in our circles. At that point, many beliefs are already deeply imprinted in our subconscious and we treat them as our own. We don’t look at them as beliefs, but rather as facts about ourselves. But again, is this our real truth?

And I’m sorry, if this doesn’t apply to you. Maybe you see life differently. We all have a different perception of the world. The perception of the world I have, may be something completely different from yours, even though both of us may be standing next to each other looking at the same thing. I share these thoughts based on my own experiences and my perception. I do this with a hope, that people who feel different, or perhaps alienated from the masses, can find some relief and a comfort in these messages.

Some of the beliefs we have may be serving us well. They may be inspiring to us and can help us find and explore our natural talents, what we are truly about. Others, may be harmful to us. They may keep us small, limited and scared in the years to come, if not for a lifetime. This is the way programming works. Programs are just repeated patterns, behaviours and rhetorical terms, which we’ve accepted, to give us some sense of ‘who we are’ or who we should be in the eyes of others.

We rarely question our social conditioning. But just because you’ve heard something over and over again, doesn’t mean it’s true. Just because someone has told you something about you, so many times and you have accepted, doesn’t mean this is who you truly are. What if that person was wrong? You may argue and say, that several people said the same thing. Well, maybe. Here is my answer to that: I feel that when we strongly believe something, we begin to see the evidence of it around us. We subconsciously ‘look’ for confirmations of these beliefs. And we will be presented with situations and individuals who will be pointing these insecurities and beliefs back to us, like a reflection in the mirror. And again, you may have a different outlook on this than me. That’s okay. It’s my perception.

How to be more honest and transparent…

Question your beliefs. If these beliefs are serving you well, keep them. If they are unhelpful to you, begin the process of letting go of them. If something gives you a conflicting feeling, a sense that something isn’t right, listen to that feeling, even if the majority of the people are following the crowd. If it doesn’t feel right to you, it probably isn’t. Don’t follow the masses just because everyone else does. They can mislead you. Listen to your feelings. Listen to your intuition. What are you naturally drawn to? Explore it. That’s how you start finding your true self. That’s how you come to your own personal realisations. And this way, you can be also more true to others.

I’m not saying we will ever fully let go of the imprints within us, and nor am I saying all the beliefs we’ve adopted from our families, teachers or our circles are necessarily bad. All I’m saying is to question the ones that don’t make us feel good or are limiting us in some way. What I’m saying is to keep only what feels good to us and let go of what doesn’t.

Keep learning, keep exploring, keep questioning everything, keep growing, keep expanding. And by doing so, you can start coming to the realisations what you are truly about.

Embrace your real truth.


Taking care of your inner world

Have you ever noticed, that when you finally slow down and get still, many thoughts and emotions start suddenly rising up to the surface? I’m personally noticing it more now, during the global crisis. Having more time on my hands to sit with my feelings, is brining all sort of things up to the surface.

When you slow down and eventually pause, your mind can get very loud before it can get still. Unresolved issues, past resentments, work that you’ve been procrastinating on, it’s suddenly all there, present, screaming for your attention, waiting to be dealt with. This is the time when many people look for distractions, because they are afraid to sit with their feelings and do something about them. This process can sometimes even bring anger and blame with it, and can trigger all sort of emotions within you. But it is the first sign, it’s time to start doing something about this.

I’ve realised, that more and more I sit with my feelings, the more work I need to do on myself. I’m fully aware of all the unresolved issues that need to be addressed, healed, transformed and finally released.

Before you read any further, please know that the content I share is designed to inspire, empower and motivate people. I share my experiences and what works for me, my students and clients. Different tools, techniques and approaches work for different people. My philosophy is this: Take only what resonates with you and leave the rest out. There are so many resources, teachers, coaches and professionals who offer great tools, which may work better for you. I encourage you to do your research and then choose.

So, let’s go back to the article. Listed below are a few suggestions my clients and I are finding helpful.

Accepting your feelings

When we begin sitting with our feelings, at first, there may be chaos. So much may be going on. But, I find that honouring and accepting what is currently going on, without rejecting it, is a great way to begin. Whatever is happening in your mind, and whatever feelings you are having as a result of that, is currently part of you. As these feelings are part of you, you need to accept them, not fight them. If you fight, you are fighting part of yourself. Honour your unique journey and accept your feelings.

Being present with your feelings

After you you make peace with your feelings and accept them, be present with them. Sit with them for a while. Don’t judge, don’t react, do reject, don’t search for distractions. Just be with your feelings. Let the waters settle naturally. And if it helps at this stage, you can also get a pen and paper and write your feelings down. Just be present with your feelings without any judgment, but with compassion.

Working with your feelings

There is a big difference between working with your feelings and temporarily numbing them down by substances, junk food or other distractions. When you take care of your inner self, the outsides often take care of themselves too. Working with your feelings is not a job that will take an hour or one day. This is a life-long work. It’s learning you undertake to understand yourself. Working with your feelings is noticing how you react to certain situations, how you respond to people, noticing how you feel when they respond back to you. Working with your feelings is observing rather than reacting. I find, that the more you become an observer what is going on around you, within you, how you react, how you respond and what choices you make, the more you begin to understand yourself and your feelings. And in the future you won’t be so afraid to sit with them. You will gain a better understanding of yourself, what works for you and what doesn’t. It’s all about getting to know yourself on a deeper level.

I hope these suggestions have inspired you.

Stay safe and keep well.

Jana x


What should I focus on?

Are you one of those people who have always so many ideas on their minds? If so, welcome to the club! Having so many ideas is better then having none, obviously. But it often comes with a confusion what to focus on first, and sometimes with a side effect of unproductivity.

Before you carry on reading further, let me say this: Even though this post is tailored to look at this topic from an artist’s perspective, you can also apply the tips listed below into your life, when your mind is overloaded with so many tasks to do, when you feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin.

So, just the other day I was excited about a lovely project I’m currently working on and thinking how to make it even better. Suddenly, just a two minutes later, while straightening my hair in the bathroom, another two ideas flew into my consciousness about something completely different. I had to immediately get a pen and paper and write them down. Then, in the next few hours, I didn’t even focus on the project I was so excited just a few minutes ago, but kept it aside until the following morning. I was trying to produce something new, completely from scratch, which left me feeling ‘scattered’, and in the end, unproductive. Finally, I kept these ideas noted down and didn’t come back to them since. ‘What I waste of time…’ I thought. And this is one of the burdens I often have to deal with, because my mind is just too busy, having too many ideas, jumping from one place to another, and as a result of this, leaves so many unfinished projects on my plate. At the same time, I’m grateful. I’d rather have too many ideas then none at all, of course.

And here is another thing. If you are an artist or a creative, you may agree that the inspiration often pays you a visit at the most unexpected times. Many times, it comes in the moments when you are not really ‘ready’ for it and have a chance to document it quickly. An inspiration often comes at night, when you feel too tired to get up and write it down. So many times, I had to force myself out of bed to write my ideas down. The ideas can also come when you are driving, in the middle of meetings and the list can go on.

The bottom line is this:

Having so many ideas can sometimes be confusing, it can keep you unproductive and even lead to procrastinating on some really great projects, and lots of them end up unfinished.

So how do you prioritise what to focus on? Here are a few suggestions I often apply into my life when a big surge of ideas come to me all at the same time.

1) Writing it all down

Every time my mind is overflowing with thoughts and ideas, I know I need to get my notebook out. I know I need to get these ideas out of my head on a piece of paper. When I do so, I immediately create space. I feel I can see more clearly and breathe more easily. I find this quite therapeutic.

2) Getting still

Once I’ve documented all my ideas onto the pages of my notebook, I feel lighter. This is the time to close my eyes and get still or to meditate. This allows ‘the waters settle even more’ and to gain more clarity.

3) Going out for a walk

If you don’t like sitting in stillness or meditating, there is an alternative: going for a walk. Or you can do both. A little connection with nature, not only changes your perspective, but helps you feel amazing.

4) Is it urgent or is it important?

If none of the above works for you, ask yourself: what can wait or what can’t. I like the analogy I learned from a business bootcamp I attended a few years ago. One day, we were asked a question: ‘What would you deal with first? Something that is urgent or something that is important?’ And there is a big difference between the two. A common answer to this question was urgent. However, what I’ve learned, is that not all urgent is necessarilly important. Some people may object, but going deeper into this concept and learning more about the subject helped me to understand a huge difference between the two. I will leave this open for you to decide what urgent and what important means to you.

I hope these tips have inspired you.

Stay safe and keep well. 

Jana x