Just over two weeks ago I’ve had an anxiety attack, after being anxiety-free for almost ten years. It was very brief, but a bit overwhelming. Luckily, I have some great tools now, which got me out of it within a few minutes, but it reminded me of the times when those attacks used to be part of my daily life. Life was very different back then. My anxiety used to be so bad, that even the simplest of tasks, such as standing in the supermarket queue, would put me into the states of panic for no reason. It wasn’t because I was scared to be standing in the supermarket queue, but because I had suffered from, something called, a depersonalisation disorder. Depersonalisation disorder, simply put, is like living in a ‘dream state’ (not a pleasant dream to emphasise), where you don’t really feel part of the current reality, but you are basically being just an observer of what is going on around you, and perceiving it all with the foggy sensation in your mind. Living this way used to put me into unexpected states of panic, without any warning. It was scary, overwhelming and it caused so much damage to my confidence and my self-esteem in the years to come, amongst other things. It took me about four years to get through this period of life, but the imprints of it stayed with me to this day.
The reason I want to talk about mental health today is…
because I know how many people are suffering in silence when it comes to their mental health. And please note, that this is not a medical advice. I’m not a health care professional, I’m just sharing my experience. Always seek medical help, if you are struggling. I did too. I was in therapy for some time, and it offered me comfort and peace. I really want to emphasise not to suffer in silence. This is nothing to feel embarrassed about. When you have a physical problem, you are not embarrassed to visit a doctor, so why should you feel embarrassed to seek medical help when it comes to your mental health?
I have so many great tools these days, I’ve trained as a holistic teacher and a practitioner, but yet, I still seek therapy and help when I need it. I had to really slow down these last two weeks, because life got a bit too much. I’ve been worried, I’ve stressed, I’ve been having palpitations and yes, one evening, out of the blue, while watching the Matilda musical on Netflix, I got a panic attack. Just like that, without any warning when nothing was going on in that moment. The stress within me has built up, and suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I’m pleased to say I’m okay now, I don’t feel anxious, but I’m going through emotions every day. Anger, sadness, frustration come and go. And when they go, they are often replaced by creative thoughts, peaceful thoughts and a great ideas, which I’m very grateful for. It’s like being on a rollercoaster. But, I’m dealing with it.
Can you relate?
My point is this: If you are finding the current situation overwhelming, please do not keep your feelings inside. Pick up the phone and talk to a friend or a family member. If all of this is getting out of control, please don’t be afraid to seek a professional help. Don’t suffer in silence. I want to encourage you to talk. I did suffer in silence in the past, for a long time, but the moment I sought help, things started to change. Of course, on a very small scale, but they did. Don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings.
Look after yourself. Look after your mind, your body and your soul, and treat your entire being with love and respect.