Past relationships can often be a difficult topic to talk about, especially the ones that have caused us hurt or disappointment. People often don’t realise, when they don’t heal from a past relationship and jump straight to a new one, they may be carrying an unhealed energy to the new relationship. I am not saying you may not be ready for a new relationship straight away. I understand that everyone is different. We are all on a different stage of this journey, but I also believe, we need some time to accept what happened, forgive and most importantly heal the past wounds. Bringing unhealed and unresolved energies to a new relationship can be unhealthy and also unfair. This week’s blog is about how to let go and move on with grace. Hope the suggestions bellow will inspire you.
Take responsibility for your part
This also applies, if you are the one who has been hurt. That’s right. Don’t stay in the victim zone. On some level, you have attracted this relationship into your life. You’ve made certain choices, said things, done things you may not even be proud of and you should own them. I have been hurt in some of my previous relationships and it took me time to let them go and take responsibility for my part. Now, I see things differently. This is a huge step in letting go and healing your past wounds. There are no mistakes, only lessons. I am grateful for all of my past relationships. I can say that confidently now, because they helped me grow and evolve personally and spiritually.
Forgiveness
Once you take responsibility for your part, it’s time to move on to forgiveness. This can be tough, but it is crucial. People carry so much resentment towards former relationships. Some may be full of anger just by thinking about the other person. Remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean to agree what the other person did to you. Forgiveness means to set yourself free. Forgiving someone means you are not giving the other person the power to control your life anymore. Forgiving could be one of the hardest things you would ever do, but it could be one of the best gifts you give to yourself and to others.
How to forgive
When you make a decision to forgive, it becomes the first step to your liberation. Then, we can move to something which we call in spiritual circles a Cord cutting. Every time we enter a new relationship, an energetic cord is attached. It is an etheric, invisible cord that is attached to you and the other person. This doesn’t mean is good or bad. When you are ready to let go and move on with your life, it’s important to cut this cord. Cord cutting is a powerful tool that can serve you in many incredible ways. I use it every time I need to forgive someone. This applies to any relationship (romantic, business, friendships….). Carry on reading to find out how. The exercise in the next paragraph can be life-transforming for you.
Cord Cutting Meditation
Find a comfortable place where you are not going to be disturbed for a few minutes (let’s say for about 10 minutes or so). Close your eyes to avoid any visual distractions. Take a long, deep, cleansing breath in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth. Repeat this cycle of breathing for about 3-5 rounds until you get centred and more relaxed. Now, I would like to visualise the person you are willing to forgive standing in front of you. Look at this person and say to them either silently or aloud: “I’m willing to forgive you” Visualise an energetic cord connecting you with this person. Where do you see it? Is the connected to your chest, to your stomach, to your throat? See it clearly in your mind’s eye. Also see this cord attached to the other person. Now, I would like to visualise that you are holding a magical sword that is going to cut this cord with one swift cut, until it falls on the ground. If you are not able to see the cord being cut the first time, keep trying. I had many experiences, when I couldn’t cut the energetic cord straight away. It took me a few tries (even few meditations like this). Don’t be hard on yourself. Once it’s cut, see this cord falling onto the ground and dissolving any pain and struggles you have been holding onto. Visualise any resentment or anger towards this person dissolving. Take another few long deep breaths in and out. When you are ready, open your eyes and take your time getting back to your day. Have a glass of water to cleanse your body. You have just given yourself a wonderful gift. The gift of forgiveness. Do this exercise as many times as is needed.
Lessons learned
Keep in mind that relationships are teaching you some great lessons, which are helping you on your personal and spiritual growth. Ask yourself: What can I learn form this experience? The answer may come to you straight away or in time. Focus on the present moment as much as possible and when you notice your mind wandering to the thoughts of anger or resentment, pause and take a deep breath and ask yourself: Where am I? You are right here, right now in this moment and that’s the only place where your power lies and the real life exists.
I will leave you with a powerful quote by Mother Teresa: