When I was younger I didn’t have many friends. I wanted to be liked and accepted, so I began seeking approval from others and pretending that my life was interesting, even though it was a complete opposite of that. I wanted to know what it would feel like to be like the popular kids at school and I would do anything to make it happen. I carried the desire to be liked and accepted to my adulthood, and as a result of this, brought so much pain into my life.
Seeking attention and approval was something I would search for daily. Only then, I could feel worthy and somehow accepted. I was constantly trying to prove to others that I was good enough and I wasn’t afraid. I was trying to impress people by showing them what it means to lead this wonderful and adventurous lifestyle that looked good on the outside but was so painful on the inside.
I was full of fear, unhappy and living a big lie. Later, completely exhausted of the theatre performance I put on for many years, I realised none of it makes any sense and how silly it was. I’ve decided to become more myself and being okay with it. Of course, stepping into my truth wasn’t easy at all. Feelings of shame, guilt and anxiety have been following me around like a dark cloud. I still detour to these places every now and then, but I’m no longer hard on myself when I do. I’m not afraid to be myself anymore.
Becoming true to myself
Admitting that I was afraid and stopping to seek approval from others released a lot of pressure from my life. I was no longer relying on them to praise me for my accomplishments and admiring how wonderful my life seemed, instead, I committed to live more and more in my truth. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
If you want to impress someone, impress yourself
The only person you should try to impress is yourself. Forget about impressing other people, stop seeking attention and approval from them and focus on you. What’s the point of pretending to be fearless or worrying what others think of you? It’s not always easy, I completely understand, but give it a go. You’ll feel more at peace and free.