Last Thursday I woke up at 3 am. I thought, after a few moments, I will fall asleep again, but I didn’t it. My mind was racing and my thoughts were overtaking the peaceful state I was trying so hard to create. After trying to fall asleep for about an hour, I decided to get up. The thoughts I was having in those early hours led me to some dark places of the past, I would rather erase from my life, completely. They seemed so real once again, making me feel uncomfortable. So, as I got up, I went to the kitchen, made myself breakfast and decided to write my thoughts down. I allowed the pen to glide on the page of my diary and let these thoughts and emotions stick to the paper. I started feeling a little relief, but it still wasn’t enough. Later, in the shower, it got bad again. I started thinking about something from even more distant past. I began wondering, why do I have to deal with this today? I have things to do and it seemed like a complete waste of time. I realised it must be happening for a reason. I must admit, at that point, I felt sad, angry and frustrated at the same time. It felt like a dark cloud just formed above my head and followed me around. Analysing why I felt the way I felt led me to a realisation, that I need to start a major clearing in my life.
I began with a space clearing
Cleaning my flat was a good place to start. Throwing away things which were long overdue to go, dusting off the shelves and afterwards lighting candles, and clearing the space using a sage and palo santo offered me peace of mind.
Creating a feeling good state
Clearing the flat definitely lifted off some heavy energies, but I needed to go deeper. I decided to sit in stillness and meditate. Meditation always brings clarity into my life and a fresher perspective. And it did just that. Clearing your mind of unpleasant thoughts can seem like a major task especially when you are feeling down, however, it works when you give it a chance. Begin by lighting a candle, putting on some soothing music and taking a few deep breaths. You can add some visualisation to this by imagining you are walking through a beautiful garden and seeing the most vivid colours, hearing the most beautiful sounds and feeling at peace with yourself and everything that surrounds you. You can go anywhere in your imagination and if you are thinking about beautiful things, it will make you feel great. This helped me enormously and shifted my energy. After this meditation, the unpleasant thoughts about the past didn’t seem so big anymore. I had a completely different perspective and once again looked at those experiences as lessons I learned so much from.
The clearing continues and it goes even deeper
Clearing your past doesn’t only mean clearing old emotions, some of them still unresolved, but to clear some people from your life as well. This may sound harsh to some of you, but the truth is, some people need to go. You might have outgrown certain friendships/relationships and that’s okay. There may be people in your life you only keep in touch because you once had something in common, but it may not be true anymore. There may even be people you feel drained around, so you avoid them, but still call them friends. This is being untrue to yourself. Don’t feel bad or guilty about this. It may be a sign to let them go.
Letting go gracefully
Letting go doesn’t have to be dramatic or painful. You can let go of people gracefully. I know you care about other people’s feelings, but if this friendship or a relationship is not serving you well anymore, it’s time to let go. Listen to your intuition how to do this. Let go smoothly, steadily and gracefully.
You are in control
Past is not here anymore and there is nothing which can be changed about it, however, your approach towards the past can be changed. You can either let it control your life or you can let it go gracefully, as mentioned above. Choose the latter, reclaim the power that has always been yours, and focus on your life which is happening now.