I believe our life’s experiences are always a reflection of our inner state. Whatever we believe, we like or dislike about ourselves will be reflected back to us, exactly like a reflection in a mirror. This also applies to judging others. One day, I was waiting in a queue at the coffee shop. There was a young woman in front of me wearing a very short skirt. Out of the blue, after examining her entire outfit, I noticed myself judging her in my mind. My negative monologue went like this: ‘I cannot believe how short is the skirt she is wearing? She probably wants some attention. I would never wear it myself! After a little while, I witnessed my self-talk. I immediately felt embarrassed. I was attacking an innocent person in my mind and I don’t even know her. Who am I to judge? (I asked myself). I was not proud of my thoughts, and this judgement was a huge wake-up call for me. We all occasionally detour into the dark places of judgement, and that’s okay. I have a few tips, which I believe can help you when you wander to the Judgement town. What is it in me, that is making me judge?
When I noticed judging that beautiful, young woman in the queue, I began to ask myself more questions. What is it in me, that is making me judge this person? I reminded myself that the outside world is a reflection of my inner state. Maybe I was jealous of her slender figure? Maybe, I wouldn’t be brave enough to wear a skirt like that? I answered yes, to both of these questions. Afterwards, I sent this girl some loving thoughts and apologised to her silently in my mind. I’m sure her soul felt it.
Self-forgiveness
Then, it was time for some self-forgiveness. I told myself, I forgive myself for the judgemental thoughts. Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and to others. Part of us is a human being and we are allowed to make mistakes. We can always make a different choice and correct our mistakes in the next given moment. We learn from our mistakes and we grow from them, personally and spiritually. Here is a beautiful self-forgiveness affirmation I like to use: “I forgive myself for my past mistakes. I learned from them.” Every time I believe I made an unwise choice, I say these powerful words. They allow the forgiveness to set in, and they start up the healing process.
Compassion
The reason I mentioned this story to you, is because I want to be true to you. Being a teacher of spirituality doesn’t mean you are never going to wander to the Judgement town. Perhaps, if I had a good day that day, I would see the girl at the coffee shop as a reflection of my own beauty? But, I had to learn something important that day. I had to learn to see every person I encounter, as a reflection of my own inner state. I trust and know that the Universe always sends people and situation on my path, that will help me grow personally and spiritually. Therefore, be compassionate towards yourselves. Remember, you are doing the best you can, based on the knowledge and experiences you have at the time. Maya Angelou put it very beautifully. She said: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”