Today, I would like to give you my number one tip for decision making. When we are about to make a decision we often ask ourselves: “What do I think about this?” Or we go to other people, such as friends, family members or work-colleagues and ask for their opinions. But what many of us forget, is to enquire within and ask ourselves: “How do I feel about this?” This week, I have a quick video message for you I believe can inspire you. You can watch it at the link below.
My #1 tip for decision making
Letting go of toxic people the mature way
We all have some people in our lives who drain us of energy. The friends that always complain, the people that have nothing positive to say. For years and years, they have similar stories about how victimised they feel and how difficult life is. When you get off the phone with them, you feel exhausted. You feel that so much energy has just been sucked out of you. Do you keep in touch with certain people just to be nice? Well, all of the above are huge signals it’s time to let go. But letting go doesn’t always mean to say goodbye for good. It can mean to keep some form of contact. I know you care about your friends and you don’t want to hurt anyone. You want the best for your friends, but sometimes letting go would be the best choice. The truth is, we sometimes outgrow some people and that’s perfectly okay. So is it time to re-evaluate your relationships? If so, read on.
No Guilt
Let’s face it, some people need to go. They came into your life for a few years, but the relationship/friendship has served its purpose now. I am not suggesting to be cruel. You can still let those people go with grace and love and without feeling guilty. This is an act of self-love towards yourself. Self-love should be your number one priority. Secondly, you don’t have to close the doors completely. What you can you do is to minimise contact with these people. Just check-in with them occasionally. I know you still care about them because you are a good and loving friend, but for your own wellbeing, you need to keep distance and protect your energy.
You are always Number ONE
I learnt this the hard way being a recovering people-pleaser. I sometimes still de-tour and find myself on this path, but luckily I soon realise, this is not doing me or the other person any favour. Taking care of yourself and your energy by letting go of the unhealthy and draining relationships is crucial to your wellbeing. You want to feel well and good and you owe it to yourself. Your time here on Earth is limited. Whey waste it by investing your precious energy into something that doesn’t make you feel good.
Be honest
Do yourself a favour and don’t try to hold on to relationships that no longer serve you. Let them go, be kind and truthful to yourself and others. We often hold on to something for too long. It is not good for yourself or the other person. Let them go, so they can be who they came here to be and find the right people to spend time with. The same applies to you. Don’t waste yours or their time.
Forgive them for YOU
We are all on a different stage of this journey called life. You are on your path and they are on theirs. Some people stay in your life for a lifetime, others have shorter roles to play. Forgive them, let them go and move on. Make a space for the healthy and more fulfilling friendships and relationships.
A thought to keep
“When you are brave enough to let go of what is no longer serving you, your energy will start re-arranging and will create space for what is really meant for you.” ~Jana Prackova
Authenticity ~your secret superpower
A few weeks ago I attended a fantastic public speaking course organised by The College of Public Speaking. My mentor, Vince Stevenson, is a wonderful and inspiring teacher. On the course, Vince was talking a lot about authenticity. This is an area I used to struggle with because I thought I was not good enough. Well, to be honest I still struggle with it sometimes, but not as I used to. Becoming more mature and confident in being myself, I made it my mission to teach others about owning their truth. Being your authentic self is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give to yourself and to this world. Unfortunately, many of us often compare ourselves to other people and then we think that we are less than others, or we need change something or do something so we can be accepted by this society. I believed this lie for many years myself until I reached enough bottom to make me realise, I am good enough just the way I am and I matter like everyone else on this planet.
You were born to be YOU
I absolutely love this quote: ‘No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else’ ~P.T. Barnum. You are a unique individual. There has never been anybody like you and there is never going to be. You have so many amazing gifts and qualities that nobody else has. Show them to the world.
You are good enough, just as you are
Know that you are enough, just the way you are. Your authenticity is your superpower. Embrace it.
Focus on you
Focus on yourself and stop comparing yourself to other people. Well, at least try. Focus on what inspires you, focus on what you love, focus on what matters to you. When you do that, you will lose interest in comparing yourself to other people.
” Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful and magical person that you are.” ~Mandy Hale
Raise your energy fast when you are feeling down
Today, I would like to share with you a short video I recorded in my class last week (linked bellow), plus a few paragraphs in this blog post, which can help you raise your energy fast when you are feeling down. We have all been there: lacking energy, feeling demotivated, discouraged or upset. I understand that completely, and also know how hard it can be to get up again when you are feeling down. But here is the good news: You have so much power within you to rise above any limitation you face. You can shift your perception right now, and start focusing on what is working in your life, instead of what isn’t. Listed bellow are three of my favourite ways I believe can help you start.
1) Gratitude
When I feel down, I start listing things I am grateful for. This immediately starts shifting my energy from a negative frequency to a positive frequency. Here is an example of my gratitude list: ‘I am grateful that I woke up this morning, I am grateful for a brand new day, I am grateful for my body for doing such a great job carrying through this life, I am grateful for my loving family, I am grateful for the roof over my head, I am grateful for the sunshine outside today, I am grateful for the food on my table’….and the list can go on and on. When we are grateful for the things we already have, that turns everything into enough. Begin your gratitude practice today.
2) Alignment to the present moment
Present moment is the only place where to true life exists. But, as Buddha used to say: ‘We have a luxury of a human mind’ and our mind can sometimes wander to places we don’t want to go, such as past. Every time you find your mind wandering, ask yourself: “Where am I? I am right here in this moment and that’s all that matters.” Focus on the present moment, that’s where your power lies. Also remember, that your future is being created by the choices you make in the present moment. Be aware of it, especially when you are thinking about your past mistakes. Don’t carry them with you to your present and your future.
3) Conscious breathing
I often say: “When I’m in doubt, I take a deep breath.” It works like magic. After a few deep breaths, I often feel more energised, grounded and I can feel my energy shifting. Take a few deep breaths, slowly and deeply. By deep, conscious breathing, you begin to create more space in your body. Deep breathing can also bring clarity into your life and will help you get centred back to the current moment. Give it a go.
Are you feeling angry with someone? Try this positive approach.
A few months ago, I did a bit of creative writing for somebody. When this project was presented to me, I was instantly inspired, so I got to work almost straight away. I completed it fairly quickly too. The person I was working for was very happy with the results and so was I. Unfortunately, to this day, I didn’t receive any payment for the hard work I put into it. What upset me even more, was that this person completely disappeared and haven’t followed through. It has been months now. I am not going to go into too much details or talk negatively about the whole experience. First of all, this is not my style, and secondly, I like to keep my posts positive and inspiring. When this person didn’t pay me for my work, what crossed my mind, was that maybe some tragedy happened to them or in their family, which I know nothing about? Who knows. I decided to rise above the anger I was feeling at that point, and stay neutral about it. For a while I did, then, after some time, the feelings of anger started creeping in again. My internal monologue (for some time) was going something like this: “This is so typical. You just trust everybody and this is what happens. You should’ve take an advance payment first and then do the project. That’s how things get done these days. You are just too trustworthy Jana.” The more I thought about, the angrier I felt and my frustration built up. I knew that sooner or later I have to take a different approach and shift my energy. I’ve decided to keep this as a lesson and took a positive approach, which I’d love to share with you.
Be kind to yourself, you haven’t done anything wrong
We often beat ourselves up for being so ‘stupid and trustworthy’ and promising ourselves, we are not going to do that again, and yet again we find ourselves there. First of all, you are not stupid. It’s a human nature to trust and be kind, so please don’t be hard on yourself. You trusted, and trusting is natural. Unfortunately, not everyone falls into the honest category. Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong. It’s just another lesson.
Lesson learned
You are always learning and always growing, personally and spiritually. If a similar situation, like the one described above happens to you, look at it as a lesson instead of beating yourself up for it. We are learning our whole life, it doesn’t matter how old we are. And this lesson was probably required to help you on personal and spiritual growth.
Rise above the limitation
Anger is a limitation. It keeps you from moving forward in your life. It is a limitation that weakens you and keeps you on a low frequency. Rise above the limitation and re-focus your attention on things which are working in your life. The less focus you give to your anger, the quicker it will start fading away. And please know, that being angry never resolves anything. It only keeps you busy doing nothing.
Listen to your intuition
Most of the time, I listen to my intuition, but sometimes, when my mind overtakes, I dismiss it. And only when I do so, I realise I should’ve trusted and listened to it. Whenever you are making an important decisions in your life, please check-in with your inner voice. Your inner guidance is always there and should be acknowledged. Only we don’t always choose to listen to it. We have been trained to rely on our mind since a young age. Nobody ever told us that we should also ‘enquire within’. Now, is the time to reverse the process a bit, and first ask yourself: How do I feel about it and then, what do I think about it?
A thought to keep
‘When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, count to hundred’ ~Thomas Jefferson
Your Imagination (Vlog)
Dear friends,
Today, I have a question for you: ‘What do you use your imagination for?’ Your imagination is a very powerful tool and you should really start using it to your advantage. This week I made a video for you to talk about your imagination. May it serve you well. As always, if you have any questions or comments, please feel free to email me: jana@mysticbutterfly.co.uk
Love,
Jana x
‘Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere’ ~Albert Einstein
Work/Life Balance ~does it exist?
What does come to your mind when you think of a work/life balance? Do you think it can be achieved? I believe, it is everyone’s choice. I must admit, I sometimes have a hard time switching off. I always love creating something and most of the time when I do any kind of creative work, I feel energised. But in the last few years I realised, how important is to just relax, and leave even the work I enjoy aside sometimes. My little niece and my nephew are two of my greatest teachers. They are constantly teaching me how to be more present and enjoy to live in the moment. When I’m with them, I know that work and life can be balanced, and all of that it’s up to me. You need as much time for a play as you invest to your work.
Planning
I like to go with a flow sometimes, but I also love planning. I recently started planning my time off in every week, as I plan all the other things. I now make sure, I reserve at least one day of the week just for myself, even though I could fit in a quick meeting or do some work. Relax and time out is so important to me. And here is a bonus: When I’m well rested I often accomplish even more than I usually plan. I don’t fill out my calendar fully anymore. Certain things can definitely wait. Leaving at least one day a week just for myself, made a very positive change in my life.
Priorities
What are your priorities? In one of the business trainings I took couple of years ago I learned a lot about priorities. We talked about the difference between doing what is important and what is urgent, and the big difference between the two. I don’t deal with urgent first anymore. I first do what is important, because that’s my priority. Become very clear about your own priorities. It will serve you well.
Moments of stillness
Find moments of stillness at least couple of times a day. Meditation, conscious breathing, relaxation or going for a walk are just a few to name. They can definitely bring more peace into your life, so you can start feeling more balanced in general. Meditation is one of my favourite time out activities. Nature connection is another one. I am very blessed to be living at a place surrounded by a beautiful nature. If you are a nature lover and live in the city, you can still take a walk in a nearby park. It can definitely give a different perspective on life and will help bring more peace and balance to it.
A thought to keep
“Balance is not something you find. It’s something you create.”
~Jana Kingsford
Start today, ‘not on Monday’
I have always been quite an ambitious person. I absolutely love bringing my dreams into reality and also helping others to do the same. Today, I would like to talk to you about taking action while manifesting your dreams. What I’ve been noticing in the last few years, is that far too many dreams become unfulfilled, because of the fear of failure and procrastination. At first, when a dream is born, most people get excited. Maybe for a week, a month or so, but that’s about it. When they realise how much work they have to put into making it a reality, most of them take a step back. It doesn’t have to be that way. I strongly believe our dreams come to us for a reason, and it is our responsibility to purse you them. When you do so, not only you will achieve something great, but you will also inspire others. In her best seller, The 5 Second Rule, author and a motivational speaker, Mel Robbins suggests taking 5 second decisions to beat procrastination. By counting down from 5 to 1 and taking action within that 5 second window can stop procrastinating or even begin the process of achieving an amazing dream. I’ve been using The 5 Second Rule for quite some time now and highly recommend reading Mel’s book. It’s absolutely incredible. So, what is preventing you from starting something great today? Whatever it is, you can take that first step towards your dream and start today, not on Monday as most of us promise ourselves. Listed bellow are my 3 favourite ways that can start you off straight away.
Begin now
If you really want to make something happen and it is important to you, you will find a way, if not, you will find an excuse. What can you do today that will get you closer to your dream? Is it starting to read a book (maybe The 5 Second Rule), is it signing up to a class or making an important phone call? You know what it is and you know what do to. Begin today.
Stop talking and start doing
Many people talk about their dreams, but that’s about about it. They get inspired and excited about new ideas for a while, but never take any action. They always have some kind of excuse and that’s how they go about life. What a waste of their precious time here on Earth. Don’t be one of those people. Stop talking and start taking action.
Have fun
Following your dreams, first of all, should be a fun process. Even though you should be taking daily action, please have fun along the way. Be creative and make this process something you will look forward to every day, not something you dread. For example: When I write, I make myself a nice cup of tea, I open the window in my living room, so I can hear the birds, I light a candle and this way create a peaceful setting for my writing. It works like magic.
A thought to keep
“Today is a perfect day to start living your dreams.”
Are you fed up of worrying what other people think of you? Read this….
I always worried, what other people thought of me. I still do, but much less then I used to. After spending so many years worrying excessively what others thought of me, in the last few years I am finally learning otherwise. My problem, (which is more of a benefit now) is that I can easily pick on people’s energy and thoughts. That often alarms me how others perceive me. This used to drive me crazy. After so many years of investing my precious time here on Earth to something that is so irrelevant, I realised what other people think of me has nothing to do with me. It’s only their perception of me. What I think of me is what matters most.
Everyone is thinking about themselves, not about you
Nobody is thinking more about you than they are thinking about themselves. If you think they do, you are mistaken. Keep that in mind whenever you catch yourself thinking someone may be judging you or thinking about what you have done or said. Everyone has their own life to think about first.
Will this matter a year from now?
And even if they are briefly thinking about you at this moment, you may like to ask yourself: Will this matter a year from now? And more likely, it will not. So, what’s there to worry about? Rise above the worry and free yourself. How can you do that? Take a deep breath and place your attention to the present moment, focus on an activity that brings you joy and where you more likely forget about your worries.
The most important thing is what YOU think of YOU
What others think of you is irrelevant. What you think of you is what matters most. You know who you really are, and that’s what really matters.
Liberate yourself
Liberate yourself from worrying what others think of you. Love and accept yourself for who you are, even for the mistakes you have made, for the ‘so-called’ embarrassments you might have put yourself through or whatever it is that bothers you. Make a choice, that you will worry less and you will start enjoying yourself life more.
A thought to keep
‘What you think of yourself is much more important than what others think of you.’ ~ Marcus Annaeus Seneca
Perform one random act of kindness a day, and watch your life change
A couple of weeks ago I watched a TedTalk presented by Jacqueline Way, where she talked about kindness. It moved me to tears and inspired me to set on a path of performing at least one random act of kindness a day. Most of us do this already. Human nature, in general, is mostly loving and kind. It is only fear that leads us to actions we often regret later, long after the damage is done. But, I believe that’s not who we really are. Everyone has something good within them, which can be expressed out in this world. So here is my suggestion: Let’s make kindness our daily mission. Let’s start acting more spontaneously and be more kind to each other. When you feel an impulse to do something kind, don’t hesitate and act on that impulse. We are here to love, respect and to be kind to each other. Being kind, for example, can mean just giving someone a genuine, and that’s enough. This may turned that person’s sad day to a brighter one, or even change their entire view on life. You never know how much impact you are making in the world. As a bonus, being kind feels amazing and you will benefit from it in a great way yourself.
Positive vibrations
By being kind, you are sending out a positive vibrations to the entire Universe. You are a powerful being, and everything you do has a ripple effect that affects the whole cosmos. You are that powerful. Be aware of your incredible power and choose your actions wisely. The law of attraction is very simple: Whatever you send out, will come back to you. Remember that everything is energy. Your thought begins it, your emotions amplifies it and your action creates its momentum.
It’s the simple things
What can you do today to be more kind? Here are a few examples: Hold the door for somebody and smile, compliment people on their outfit or shoes, give someone a genuine smile, help out a work-colleague, send a text to your friend or a family member and tell them how much you love them and appreciate them. These are just a few examples to give you an idea how you can be kind today. For you it may mean very little, but for the other person it may mean a lot. Be loving, be kind and do good.
Don’t forget to be kind to yourself
This is very important. Don’t be only kind to others, but please be kind to yourself too. Start paying attention to your self-talk, how you treat yourself, what your beliefs you hold, how you treat your body, mind and soul. You deserve your love and kindness too.