How I turned being bullied at school to my advantage as an adult

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A week ago, I sat in the garden with my parents. We talked about many things. The topic of childhood came up. My parents and I discussed the good and the not-so-good memories we had. Mentioning one particular experience made me very emotional. I visited that old memory to such an extent I burst into tears. I haven’t cried in front of my mum and dad for years. I wasn’t embarrassed, on the contrary, I felt relieved and comforted while surrounded by loved ones.

All through my childhood and teenage years I’ve been bullied, made fun of, laugh at or called names. I am not mentioning this to complain about it; I am writing about it because I want to help you turn your own struggles to your advantage. It is not my intention to go into much detail, but let’s say, there were some kids in the village I grew up who would pick on me on a daily basis. Why me? I wasn’t sure exactly. I was very quiet and shy, and some kids, like the bullies I was surrounded by, are always ready to attack the ones who don’t know how to stand up for themselves. The days of my childhood and teenage years were some of the darkest days of my life. Now, I have a different outlook on it all. They made me stronger as an adult.

What did I gain from this experience?

  • I learnt to stand up for myself
  • I learnt to speak up for myself (but still have much to learn in this category) 
  • I learnt to be proud of who I am
  • I learnt to put my needs first
  • I worked on myself very hard and I can confidently say I’m doing well in life
  • I achieved many incredible things 
  • I learnt to be a strong and independent woman 

If you had been bullied as a child or going through a similar experience right now, I can fully relate. Please know, that you have so much power and so much wisdom within you to rise above any challenge you face. First of all, don’t keep it to yourself. Talk to someone about it. There are so many loving and caring people and organisations who would be able to help. When I was bullied, at first, I was afraid to tell my parents. Later, it got so far, I had to. Their support helped me enormously. Don’t wait and also know this: Bullies, whether you encounter them at school, on social media or at work, are insecure individuals who need to pick on others to be seen as powerful. The truth is, there are the weak ones. They are unconsciously showing their weakness by making fun of someone else. They are the ones who are searching for love, support and attention and feel lost. 

A thought to keep

‘When you re-visit the painful experiences of your past, the pain may still be present and you may feel emotional. This is only natural. When you rise above them and choose to view them from a higher perspective, a tremendous healing can take place. Suddenly you are not the victim anymore; you are the survivor, the one who won.’ ~Jana Prackova

Take a break, relax & get inspired

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My holiday is starting today and I am definitely ready for it. Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been working very hard. The great news is, I can see some amazing results and so happy where is Mystic Butterfly® heading. The hard work is definitely paying off. I will be sharing some exciting news with you within the next couple of months, but now, is time to relax, unwind and spend some time with my family. I can’t think of a better way of spending my Summer holiday than surrounded by my loved ones. I will be taking a couple of weeks off from writing too, so the next email you will get in your inbox from me (if you are a Mystic Butterfly subscriber) will be on 21st August. Until then, I will still be sharing inspiring posts (and a few holiday pictures) throughout my social media accounts.

A quick note for my students: Meditation classes and group coaching classes will resume in September. Please, check out this page for all the dates: https://www.mysticbutterfly.co.uk/classes/

So, now it’s time to unwind and relax

Taking time off is very important, even when you really enjoy the work you do. Every time I take time off and change the scenery from my everyday environment, I get instantly inspired. I keep my notebook handy to write down any ideas, so get ready for lots of inspiring posts coming your way. So, I’m signing off now and will leave you with this powerful quote by Doe Zantamata:

“Taking time to do nothing sometimes often brings everything into perspective” ~Doe Zantamata

The power of daily rituals

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What does come to your mind when you hear the word ritual? The Oxford English Dictionary describes ritual as follows: a religious or solemn ceremony consisting of a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order. In other words, we can look at ritual as something we repeat on a daily basis that has a powerful meaning to us. It can even be a daily prayer or having a meditation practice. I, personally find daily rituals very empowering. Through daily rituals, we are learning a self-discipline. When something is important to us, we just find the time to do it, no negotiations, no excuses. The more we practice, the more second-nature it becomes. It’s like brushing your teeth. Today, I would like to share with you some of my own daily non-negotiables. I hope they’ll inspire you.

Daily meditation

One of my daily rituals is my meditation practice. I meditate every morning and every evening. I always make sure I meditate. For me, meditating is the right way to start and also end my day. I don’t compromise. If I have to be up at 6 am, I make sure I wake up at 05.45 to do my meditation. My meditation practice is important to me and therefore I make sure I stick to it.

Energy field protection

I have always been quite sensitive to other people’s energies and I can easily pick on their thoughts and emotions. Therefore, I make sure I shield my energy field every single day. I do this by adding a little visualisation to my day. For example: I visualise four mirrors around me. One in front of me, one behind me, one on my left and one on my right. These mirrors are not facing me, but they are turned away from me. I trust and know that these mirrors will reflect any negative or disturbing energies sent my way (intentionally or unintentionally). I also trust that when these energies are reflected away from me, they cannot harm any other being. Another protection technique I use is stepping into a golden pyramid, inspired by Anne Jones. Visualise a golden pyramid in front of you. Take a step (either in your visualisation or you can take a physical step), and visualise you are stepping into that pyramid. Now, that you are in the pyramid, trust and know that nothing negative or disturbing can penetrate through this pyramid and you are safe and secure.

Conscious breathing

Several times a day I stop doing what I’m doing and take a few deep breaths. Practising daily conscious breathing creates space within the physical body, so the energy can flow freely. Deep breathing can also help release stress, anxiety and bring more joy and peace to life.

Reading something inspirational every day

Reading at least one page of an inspiring or motivational book can really add to feeling more positive and excited about life in general. I do this every day. It doesn’t take long and it has a lasting positive effect on my life.

Daily PLANK

I am not a very big fan of gyms, but I practice yoga and love ballet dancing. These are keeping me fit and balanced. Even though I don’t go to the gym, every day I do daily plank pose for 4-minutes. I don’t do it all together but in 2- minute intervals. It’s a fantastic ritual I added to my day a few months ago, which is also keeping my arms, abdomen and legs strong and toned.

Do you have any daily rituals?

If you practise any rituals and you would like to share them with us, I invite you to leave them in the comments below this post. By sharing our ideas and tips, we can inspire and help each other. If you don’t practise any rituals yet, I hope this post inspired you.

I will leave you with this powerful quote

“A daily ritual is a way of saying, “I’m voting for myself; I’m taking care of myself.” ~ Mariel Hemingway 

Email accounts frustration, stress & when things go wrong

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A couple of weeks ago, not one, but two of my email accounts got blocked. Initially, I got very angry, and ultimately, very upset. The help I was getting from all the advisers was pretty much a common sense, which I tried prior to contacting them. I tried almost everything and nothing worked. In the end, after focusing on this issue for a while I got frustrated to the point I had to let it go. Taking care of my energy was far more important to me then getting stressed over this issue. After taking a day off focusing on something else, I was able to see this problem from a different perspective. I didn’t get my email accounts back, which was upsetting at first, but I managed to move the most important information connected to these accounts to a safe place. What did I learn from it?

1) Taking time to cool-off

When I finally realised that being angry, frustrated, stressed out and having all the unpleasant thoughts was not going to get me anywhere, I got my power back. I was controlled by the situation and it was making me weak. I had to take a day off from it to get a different perspective.

2) Remove yourself from the situation early

Don’t wait for so long as I did and act now. Remove yourself from the situation sooner than later. When you come back, you may have a different outlook on it.

3) Breathe

When we are stressed out, we tend to stop breathing properly. Our breathing gets shallow, our heart rate increases and adrenaline rises. My suggestion? Make sure you start creating space in your body by deep breathing, so the energy can start flowing around freely again. I know this may not cross your mind and you may think is not going to work, but it will. I have to remind myself of this important exercise all the time and it always serves me well.

4) Praise yourself

Whatever is the outcome, praise yourself. The solution may not be the one you expected, but it will get resolved in some way. Whatever happens, congratulate yourself for dealing with the situation the best way you possibly could. When I finally realised where I stand with my blocked emails accounts and the solution (not the one I expected) came to me, I said to myself: “Well done Jana! You dealt with this brilliantly. You invested so much energy into it and you should be proud of yourself. You did very well!” 

A thought to keep

“Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success” ~Bo Bennett 

My #1 tip for decision making

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Today, I would like to give you my number one tip for decision making. When we are about to make a decision we often ask ourselves: “What do I think about this?” Or we go to other people, such as friends, family members or work-colleagues and ask for their opinions. But what many of us forget, is to enquire within and ask ourselves: “How do I feel about this?” This week, I have a quick video message for you I believe can inspire you. You can watch it at the link below.

Letting go of toxic people the mature way

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We all have some people in our lives who drain us of energy. The friends that always complain, the people that have nothing positive to say. For years and years, they have similar stories about how victimised they feel and how difficult life is. When you get off the phone with them, you feel exhausted. You feel that so much energy has just been sucked out of you. Do you keep in touch with certain people just to be nice? Well, all of the above are huge signals it’s time to let go. But letting go doesn’t always mean to say goodbye for good. It can mean to keep some form of contact. I know you care about your friends and you don’t want to hurt anyone. You want the best for your friends, but sometimes letting go would be the best choice. The truth is, we sometimes outgrow some people and that’s perfectly okay. So is it time to re-evaluate your relationships? If so, read on.

No Guilt

Let’s face it, some people need to go. They came into your life for a few years, but the relationship/friendship has served its purpose now. I am not suggesting to be cruel. You can still let those people go with grace and love and without feeling guilty. This is an act of self-love towards yourself. Self-love should be your number one priority. Secondly, you don’t have to close the doors completely. What you can you do is to minimise contact with these people. Just check-in with them occasionally. I know you still care about them because you are a good and loving friend, but for your own wellbeing, you need to keep distance and protect your energy.

You are always Number ONE

I learnt this the hard way being a recovering people-pleaser. I sometimes still de-tour and find myself on this path, but luckily I soon realise, this is not doing me or the other person any favour. Taking care of yourself and your energy by letting go of the unhealthy and draining relationships is crucial to your wellbeing. You want to feel well and good and you owe it to yourself. Your time here on Earth is limited. Whey waste it by investing your precious energy into something that doesn’t make you feel good.

Be honest

Do yourself a favour and don’t try to hold on to relationships that no longer serve you. Let them go, be kind and truthful to yourself and others. We often hold on to something for too long. It is not good for yourself or the other person. Let them go, so they can be who they came here to be and find the right people to spend time with. The same applies to you. Don’t waste yours or their time.

Forgive them for YOU

We are all on a different stage of this journey called life. You are on your path and they are on theirs. Some people stay in your life for a lifetime, others have shorter roles to play. Forgive them, let them go and move on. Make a space for the healthy and more fulfilling friendships and relationships.

A thought to keep

“When you are brave enough to let go of what is no longer serving you, your energy will start re-arranging and will create space for what is really meant for you.” ~Jana Prackova 

Authenticity ~your secret superpower

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A few weeks ago I attended a fantastic public speaking course organised by The College of Public Speaking. My mentor, Vince Stevenson, is a wonderful and inspiring teacher. On the course, Vince was talking a lot about authenticity. This is an area I used to struggle with because I thought I was not good enough. Well, to be honest I still struggle with it sometimes, but not as I used to. Becoming more mature and confident in being myself, I made it my mission to teach others about owning their truth. Being your authentic self is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give to yourself and to this world. Unfortunately, many of us often compare ourselves to other people and then we think that we are less than others, or we need change something or do something so we can be accepted by this society. I believed this lie for many years myself until I reached enough bottom to make me realise, I am good enough just the way I am and I matter like everyone else on this planet.

You were born to be YOU

I absolutely love this quote: ‘No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else’ ~P.T. Barnum. You are a unique individual. There has never been anybody like you and there is never going to be. You have so many amazing gifts and qualities that nobody else has. Show them to the world.

You are good enough, just as you are

Know that you are enough, just the way you are. Your authenticity is your superpower. Embrace it.

Focus on you

Focus on yourself and stop comparing yourself to other people. Well, at least try. Focus on what inspires you, focus on what you love, focus on what matters to you. When you do that, you will lose interest in comparing yourself to other people.

” Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful and magical person that you are.” ~Mandy Hale 

Raise your energy fast when you are feeling down

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Today, I would like to share with you a short video I recorded in my class last week (linked bellow), plus a few paragraphs in this blog post, which can help you raise your energy fast when you are feeling down. We have all been there: lacking energy, feeling demotivated, discouraged or upset. I understand that completely, and also know how hard it can be to get up again when you are feeling down. But here is the good news: You have so much power within you to rise above any limitation you face. You can shift your perception right now, and start focusing on what is working in your life, instead of what isn’t. Listed bellow are three of my favourite ways I believe can help you start.

1) Gratitude

When I feel down, I start listing things I am grateful for. This immediately starts shifting my energy from a negative frequency to a positive frequency. Here is an example of my gratitude list: ‘I am grateful that I woke up this morning, I am grateful for a brand new day, I am grateful for my body for doing such a great job carrying through this life, I am grateful for my loving family, I am grateful for the roof over my head, I am grateful for the sunshine outside today, I am grateful for the food on my table’….and the list can go on and on. When we are grateful for the things we already have, that turns everything into enough. Begin your gratitude practice today.

2) Alignment to the present moment

Present moment is the only place where to true life exists. But, as Buddha used to say: ‘We have a luxury of a human mind’ and our mind can sometimes wander to places we don’t want to go, such as past. Every time you find your mind wandering, ask yourself: “Where am I? I am right here in this moment and that’s all that matters.” Focus on the present moment, that’s where your power lies. Also remember, that your future is being created by the choices you make in the present moment. Be aware of it, especially when you are thinking about your past mistakes. Don’t carry them with you to your present and your future.

3) Conscious breathing

I often say: “When I’m in doubt, I take a deep breath.” It works like magic. After a few deep breaths, I often feel more energised, grounded and I can feel my energy shifting. Take a few deep breaths, slowly and deeply. By deep, conscious breathing, you begin to create more space in your body. Deep breathing can also bring clarity into your life and will help you get centred back to the current moment. Give it a go.

Are you feeling angry with someone? Try this positive approach.

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A few months ago, I did a bit of creative writing for somebody. When this project was presented to me, I was instantly inspired, so I got to work almost straight away. I completed it fairly quickly too. The person I was working for was very happy with the results and so was I. Unfortunately, to this day, I didn’t receive any payment for the hard work I put into it. What upset me even more, was that this person completely disappeared and haven’t followed through. It has been months now. I am not going to go into too much details or talk negatively about the whole experience. First of all, this is not my style, and secondly, I like to keep my posts positive and inspiring. When this person didn’t pay me for my work, what crossed my mind, was that maybe some tragedy happened to them or in their family, which I know nothing about? Who knows. I decided to rise above the anger I was feeling at that point, and stay neutral about it. For a while I did, then, after some time, the feelings of anger started creeping in again. My internal monologue (for some time) was going something like this: “This is so typical. You just trust everybody and this is what happens. You should’ve take an advance payment first and then do the project. That’s how things get done these days. You are just too trustworthy Jana.”  The more I thought about, the angrier I felt and my frustration built up. I knew that sooner or later I have to take a different approach and shift my energy. I’ve decided to keep this as a lesson and took a positive approach, which I’d love to share with you.

Be kind to yourself, you haven’t done anything wrong

We often beat ourselves up for being so ‘stupid and trustworthy’ and promising ourselves, we are not going to do that again, and yet again we find ourselves there. First of all, you are not stupid. It’s a human nature to trust and be kind, so please don’t be hard on yourself. You trusted, and trusting is natural. Unfortunately, not everyone falls into the honest category.  Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong. It’s just another lesson.

Lesson learned

You are always learning and always growing, personally and spiritually. If a similar situation, like the one described above happens to you, look at it as a lesson instead of beating yourself up for it. We are learning our whole life, it doesn’t matter how old we are. And this lesson was probably required to help you on personal and spiritual growth.

Rise above the limitation

Anger is a limitation. It keeps you from moving forward in your life. It is a limitation that weakens you and keeps you on a low frequency. Rise above the limitation and re-focus your attention on things which are working in your life. The less focus you give to your anger, the quicker it will start fading away. And please know, that being angry never resolves anything. It only keeps you busy doing nothing.

Listen to your intuition

Most of the time, I listen to my intuition, but sometimes, when my mind overtakes, I dismiss it. And only when I do so, I realise I should’ve trusted and listened to it. Whenever you are making an important decisions in your life, please check-in with your inner voice. Your inner guidance is always there and should be acknowledged. Only we don’t always choose to listen to it. We have been trained to rely on our mind since a young age. Nobody ever told us that we should also ‘enquire within’. Now, is the time to reverse the process a bit, and first ask yourself: How do I  feel about it and then, what do I think about it? 

A thought to keep

‘When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, count to hundred’ ~Thomas Jefferson 

Your Imagination (Vlog)

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Dear friends,

Today, I have a question for you: ‘What do you use your imagination for?’ Your imagination is a very powerful tool and you should really start using it to your advantage. This week I made a video for you to talk about your imagination. May it serve you well. As always, if you have any questions or comments, please feel free to email me: jana@mysticbutterfly.co.uk

Love, 

Jana x 

‘Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere’ ~Albert Einstein